Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• Hillary Clinton told NBC Stormy proves Trump interfered in the 2016 election by hushing up a sex scandal. She's NBC's expert on election interference and quashing sex scandals. Hillary and Bill never divorced because as long as they stay married they can't be forced to testify against each other.

• Joe Biden's sexual assault accuser Tara Reade told NBC she canceled a Fox News interview Sunday due to threats to her life. The former staffer has said 31 years ago Joe forced her up against his office hallway and inserted his two middle fingers into her. In fairness to Joe he thought he was bowling.

• The Boy Scouts of America changed its name after one hundred and fourteen years Tuesday to Scouting America. In recent years, they've opened up the Boy Scouts to gay members, gay scouting leaders, girls and trans-genders. If Scouting gets any gayer the new motto will be Do a Good Dude Daily.

• The Daily Mail reports a tourist in Romania was mauled after rolling down her car window to take a selfie with an approaching bear at the window. Taking a selfie with a bear is a win-win. You get photographic proof that you're at one with nature, while the bear gets a nice picture of his rib dinner.

• George Washington University campus protests called for the beheading of school officials Wednesday. They staged a mock trial and convicted the school president and Board of Regents and sentenced them to a guillotine they've built. They even lost an Engineering Major making sure it works.

• KC Chiefs star Travis Kelce signed with Amazon Prime to host a game show called Are you Smarter than a Celebrity and Kelce will also star in a Ryan Murphy-produced horror series called Grotesque. The Chiefs are all over TV now. The team photo shows 53 players and 53 personal assistants.

• Houston floodwaters began receding Tuesday as storm victims assessed all the damage. The heavy rainstorms had many scrambling to try to find public shelters. A TV interviewer asked an elderly woman in distress if the churches were open and she said she didn't know, she eats at Popeye's.

• The FAA announced it will investigate Boeing for allegedly missing inspections on its Dream Liner passenger plane. The cleanup is underway. Boeing delayed launching its Star Liner space craft Wednesday so Boeing could concentrate on doing what it does best, namely, killing whistleblowers.

• President Biden announced Wednesday he's withholding the military aid for Israel that was appropriated by Congress two weeks ago for invading Rafah to try to finish cleaning out Hamas in Gaza. The previous day he declared his undying love for the Jewish state. Apparently Joe meant Florida.

• President Biden addressed a crowd in Wisconsin Wednesday and regaled them with a tall tale about his Catholic school teacher named Riley whom he said was drafted by the Green Bay Packers. Sadly it never happened. The truth is, Riley was shot down over Detroit where he was eaten by the Lions.

• Donald Trump's 18-year-old son Barron will serve as GOP delegate at the GOP Convention and says he's ready for the arena. The Daily Mail says he once crashed a golf cart into a booth full of Secret Service agents. You can't imagine the laugh he'll get telling this story when he finally gets to A.A.

• Stormy Daniels was permitted to describe her affair with Trump on the witness stand Tuesday in a campaign finance law dispute. Her details even left the judge aghast. I don't want to say they come from two different worlds, but Stormy thinks a gag order involves a leather mask and a rubber ball.

• Bobby Kennedy Jr. discussed his medical history Wednesday and revealed that back in 2012 a brain scan revealed that there was a worm inside his head. Doctors told him the worm was eating his brains. It's now Trump's turn to tell his cannibal story, and we'll vote for the best one in November.

• The CDC reports that the first case of the deadly Bird Flu arrived in America. Scientists say it's contagious and highly dangerous if it's transferred from bird to humans. Just think, right now at GWU, only a Hamas head covering is protecting George Washington from catching the Bird Flu.

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