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• President Biden was hit by a CNN poll Friday which showed that two-thirds of Americans think his re-election would either be a disaster or bad for America. There's growing concern about Joe's health. Last year on Memorial Day President Biden went to a cemetery and had to show an ID to get out.
• President Biden looked and sounded sharp Monday while meeting with reporters after services at Arlington Cemetery, where he answered all their questions without a gaffe. Biden says he likes to go for a swim in the White House pool in the morning to clear his mind. Sometimes it works a little too well.
• The Department of Transportation and Highway Safety reports Americans experienced the heaviest Memorial Day weekend travel period in twenty years with over forty-three million Americans traveling either on the road or in the air. This is the day we honored the fallen. But enough about Bud Light stock.
• President Biden reached a budget deal with Speaker McCarthy but now both House Democrats and Republicans are willing to risk default rather than pass the deal. I recently learned that a gathering of baboons is called a congress. I find this highly insulting to the hard work and productivity of baboons.
• House Democrats and Republicans debated bitterly over the twenty-hour work requirement for welfare as demanded by the GOP House budget hawks. I have an idea on what we should do with people who rely on government handouts and yet they refuse to do any work. We should kick them out of Congress.
• Elon Musk spoke to the Tesla shareholders meeting last week amid a recent stock surge and he announced that Tesla will start advertising, in a major marketing switch. Safety questions about the Tesla quickly come to mind. If you hit somebody with an electric car, can they charge you with battery?
• The Russian News Service reports that the president of Belarus, Alexander Lukashenko, was just hospitalized in Moscow hours after he met with Putin. For his sake I hope his hospital room is on the first floor. That's so when the FSB throws him out the window the only thing he might break is his arm.
• President Biden was hit by a CNN poll on Friday that says two-thirds of Americans believe that a second Biden term would be disastrous for the country. The top issue concerning voters today is certainly no secret. When a recent poll asked Americans if inflation is affecting you, 320% answered yes.
• Vladimir Putin banned Jimmy Kimmel, Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon from entering Russia Friday for spreading Russo-phobic attitudes. The battle lines are clearly drawn. I opened for Yakov Smirnov on his PBS Special in 2016, and I was impeached by Facebook for colluding with the Russians.
• Target endured boycotts and protests Friday as conservatives battled LGBT activists over the store displays of transgender female bathing suits. Meanwhile, Variety reports that the new Robin Hood movie being shot in England will feature a transgender character. Let me guess which one, Friar Tuck?
• Jane Fonda at the Cannes Film Festival called for white men to be jailed due to the climate. The festival hosts the most famous actors from all over the world, except Nigeria. There are no famous actors from Nigeria because all the good ones are trying to get your banking information over the phone.
• Starbucks announced last week they are switching to pebble ice from ice cubes for their summer drinks. Over the weekend, my date dragged me into a Starbucks for my very first time in a Starbucks. I admit I couldn't tell if the woman in line ahead of me was placing an order or casting a spell.
• National Geographic aired a documentary about Africa's animal kingdom that showed how lions establish dominance within their own group and how they maintain hierarchy over other animals. I understood every move. I assert dominance over Millennials by answering their texts with phone calls.
• The White House reported a drop in border crossings Monday as Mexico began flying migrants back to Guatemala. However they are all likely to return if only out of habit. In the U.S., Hispanic Heritage Month lasts from September 15th-October 15th so they can cross the border into another month.
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