Contact The Editor
Articles By This Author
• Politico ranked Los Angeles the most reliably Democratic city in the next presidential election. Just yesterday, during my errands, I was lectured by a vegan at KFC, an EV driver at the gas station, and the pronoun police at the grocery store checkout stand. What I need is a leaf blower, but for people.
• Barack Obama asserted in a Netflix interview Monday that Americans now live in two separate realities because of the news coverage by Fox News. Obama feels that the conservative cable news channel spent his entire eight years as president taking shots at him. It was like he'd never left Chicago.
• Politico said split reaction to the Durham Report shows Americans live in different universes. That's true. Half the country believes the paparazzi were pursuing Harry and Meghan in a high-speed car chase and the other half think Harry and Meghan were pursuing the paparazzi in a high-speed car chase.
• Prince Harry claims he and Meghan were pursued by paparazzi in a two-hour-long high-speed car chase through New York Tuesday night which he said could have ended in a catastrophe. We all know the cause. On her deathbed Queen Elizabeth ordered James Bond to make it look like an accident.
• Mayor Eric Adams downplayed Harry and Meghan's story that they were dangerously pursued by paparazzi in New York City Tuesday night. The formerly royal couple claimed that they were in a two-hour car chase through the streets of Manhattan. That was just the Uber driver running from ICE.
• New York was so teeming with arriving migrants from Mexico Monday the mayor bused them upstate. You notice you never hear news stories about migrants moving into Los Angeles. That's because in L.A. even the homeless have to pay $2,500-a-month rent to Dick's Sporting Goods for the tent.
• Congress heard FBI whistleblowers testify of the mass investigations of Americans who were in Washington, D.C., on January 6th who didn't storm the U.S. Capitol. After hearing their testimony, I just canceled an engagement in Washington. I'm a comedian, not a terrorist, but try telling THAT to the FBI.
• FBI whistleblowers testified to a new committee in Congress Thursday investigating the political weaponization of the FBI in recent years. Republicans accuse the agency of being a military arm of the Democratic Party. It's not easy being the FBI Director, J. Edgar Hoover left some very high heels to fill.
• Florida Governor Ron DeSantis signed a law banning grade-school drag shows to try to curtail transgender indoctrination of kids. However the new law overlooked old sitcoms. The classic sitcom MASH is owned by Fox which was just bought by Disney, so Corporal Klinger is now a Disney Princess.
• University of Wyoming's Kappa Kappa Gamma sorority sued its national office for forcing their chapter to pledge a transgender, saying it disrespects women. There was one principle drilled into the heads of my pledge class at my fraternity in the ‘70s. Never treat a woman like an object, it hates that.
• Senator Dianne Feinstein returned to Washington after a string of illnesses that plagued her including shingles, encephalitis and Ramsay Hunt Syndrome. The senator is eighty-nine, very fragile and wheelchair-bound. Her staffers maintain that when the senator is dead, she will consider resigning.
• The Minneapolis Star Tribune reported that police have apprehended a suspect for stealing the famous ruby red slippers that Judy Garland wore in the Wizard of Oz from a museum. The red slippers are worth three million dollars. Which is still not enough to get you arrested for shoplifting in New York.
• The BBC posted stunning bright and detailed new digital photos of the Titanic on the ocean floor on Tuesday. It reminds me that life is all about perspective. For the 1,500 people who drowned when the Titanic sank in 1912 it was a tragedy, but for the lobsters in the ship kitchen it was a heaven-sent miracle.
(COMMENT, BELOW)