Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• President Trump extended the ceasefire with Iran Tuesday until Iran's military and religious leaders can get their acts together. Trump must deal with a country that's fractured between two rival forces that makes it impossible to present a unified national position. And that's just OUR country.

• President Trump announced Tuesday he is extending the cease fire with Iran until Iran's foreign ministry and Iran's military can agree on one team authorized by all factions to negotiate. I can sympathize with their confusion. Iran thinks they're winning the war because all they watch is CNN.

• The White House called on Iran to stop treating women and girls as second-class citizens and sexual property. I just learned that the age of sexual consent in Iran is 13, even younger for marriage with parental consent. I'd say the Epstein List might as well be the name of the Teheran phone directory.

• Comedian Russell Brand announced for London Mayor conceding he may have to run while in jail, as he's facing 3 counts of rape, 3 counts of sexual assault and indecent assault. His campaign slogan practically writes itself. Russell Brand is asking for your vote and he won't take no for an answer.

• The National Football League annual college player draft begins Thursday in Pittsburgh and will be televised live on ABC, ESPN and the NFL Network. Hope springs eternal for the fan bases of all 32 teams. I'm a Dallas Cowboys fan and we celebrated our last Super Bowl win on a Nokia phone.

• Marine Biologist magazine found that salmon that ingest cocaine swim much faster than other salmon as they ingest more and more coke in rivers out West. The Los Angeles River is the worst. Last night I noticed that the cook at Long John Silver's was chopping up the salmon with his credit card.

• Capitol Hill held hearings Tuesday on California's hospice fraud racket that's cost taxpayers hundreds of millions of dollars. A Los Angeles woman testified to Congress that one hospice was placed in a burrito stand. What's worse, if you want guacamole with your last meal, it's two dollars extra.

• President Trump hosted a meeting of national security and law enforcement agencies Monday about the 11 missing top U.S. scientists. They all have top-secret security clearances. I'm going to be very disappointed if I find out that the 11 scientists were kidnapped by guys in a van offering them candy.

• Fox News reports the FBI arrested an accused Chinese spy at JFK Airport who was spotted in Nebraska taking photographs with a long-range lens of sensitive U.S. warplanes on the runways of Air Force base near Omaha. He wasn't noticed by the Nebraskans. They just assumed he was Japanese.

• NBC News reported that the Trump Administration's war with the liberal media moved from cable news agitation to the federal courts this past week when FBI Director Kash Patel decided to sue the Atlantic magazine for $250 million for saying he's a drunk. That's right, $250 million. Is he high?

• The London Telegraph reported Russian nursery schools are engaging kids in the earliest known form of military training by teaching little children how to fly drones. As a result, fathers are now afraid to punish their kids when they misbehave. The dads know they will have to go outside eventually.

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