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• President Biden enjoyed the biggest political fundraiser show in history Thursday in New York City where donors paid a total of twenty-five million dollars for Biden's re-election campaign. The venue was the Radio City Music Hall. The show included Bill Clinton and fifty very frightened Rockettes.
• The Baltimore Sun suggested that the collapsed Francis Scott Key Bridge be renamed after an African American since Key had owned slaves. For the sake of compromise, maybe they should rename the bridge after P. Diddy. He's African American, he wrote famous songs and he owned slaves.
• Hip Hop mogul P. Diddy's mansion in Holmby Hills was raided by federal agents who searched his home for videotapes of underage sex trysts of his guests which he allegedly secretly recorded. We will never see them. It increasingly looks like P. Diddy is Jeffrey Epstein with a better tan and no island.
• Billboard Pride interviewed trans-gender country music singer Brody Ray where he thanked the Nashville community for supporting his work. No reason why we can't all live in the same world together. George Straight is reportedly set to record a new song called All My Exes Changes their Sexes.
• FTX founder Sam Bankman-Fried was sentenced to twenty-five years in prison Thursday. It's for committing a massive fraud on thousands of investors on his FTX platform for exchanging digital currency. The good news is, in prison he will finally achieve his dream of being publicly traded.
• The Wall Street Journal reports that South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem is moving up Donald Trump's short list of possible VP running mates. Trump and I probably have the same reaction when we see her on TV. Like the cargo ship said when it fixed its gaze on a well-built bridge, I'd hit that.
• The San Francisco Chronicle covered the last day of an In-N-Out Burger franchise in Oakland Friday that's leaving Oakland due to the crime. The city is overwhelmingly black and Hispanic. The perfect fast food restaurant for Oakland would be a Mexican soul food restaurant called Nacho Mama's.
• Bobby Kennedy's VP running mate announcement isn't the only Independent candidate news this week. A Texas man hoping to be elected president just legally changed his name to Literally Anybody Else. Today Literally Anybody Else announced his running mate, I'll Be Around If He Croaks.
• The Francis Scott Key Bridge that was destroyed when a cargo container ship struck it Tuesday was 1.6 miles long and took five years to build. It's always the same lesson these days. Once again, Millennials have to be reminded never to take selfies while they're piloting a cargo container ship.
• The NTSB ruled out terrorism when a ship hit a bridge, collapsing it on live TV Tuesday. The media reacted in perfect sync. CNN, MSNBC, NBC, CBS and ABC went dark for a minute while a printed announcement told viewers to please stand by while we figure out a way to blame this on Trump.
• The Homeland Security Department admitted they're flying in illegal migrants aboard charter flights into the U.S. and giving them work visas. I see no national security threat here. If you think back, the only time we had any problems with national security was when the migrants flew the planes themselves.
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