Contact The Editor
Articles By This Author
• Billboard magazine editors in Hollywood announced they will celebrate Latina recording artists with a show in Miami in May. To kick it off Monday, the editors selected Shakira to be Billboard's Woman of the Year. She hated to stuff the banana inside her yoga pants for the interview, but it worked.
• Joe Rogan slammed transgender influencer Dylan Mulvaney Monday as an attention whore. The past three weeks, Mulvaney's posed as a sports bra model for Nike, a beer endorser for Bud Light, and the make-up model for Maybelline. Watch for Dylan Mulvaney tonight on Fox News as Johnson Tucker.
• Politico forecast that the 2024 presidential race could be the most divisive election since the Civil War. Cable news channels and social media will be at each other's throats every day if Biden and Trump get nominated. CNN and Fox News just released an exit poll, and that's just the anchors leaving.
• President Biden leaned into the microphone and announced that he's running for re-election as President of the United States Tuesday. He added angrily that MAGA Republicans are existential threats to democracy. He was then told to pull up the second window and pick up his Sausage McMuffin.
• The White House posted a slickly-edited video Tuesday showing President Biden announcing his 2024 campaign spliced with ominous video clips of Trump supporters. It gave me nasty flashbacks when six times during the speech, Biden said let's finish the job. How often have I heard that after sex.
• Donald Trump on Saturday displayed a real affection for Bill Clinton saying Hillary made a big mistake not deploying Bill against him in the 2016 campaign. Bill Clinton vs. Trump would've been the Super Bowl of Womanizers. Imagine a campaign that features a coin flip for the moral high ground.
• The Auto Club forecast a record fifty million drivers on the road Memorial Day weekend. It has been brought to my attention that stick figure decals on your rear windshield represent your family members, not your number of pedestrian kills. So I just hastily removed mine since I have no wife or kids.
• The Discovery Channel is starring Raven Smith of Chicago in the survivalist series Naked and Afraid. She just spent two weeks isolated in Colombian mangroves. It's a fact today that humans can survive three weeks without food and three days without water, but only three hours without Wi-Fi.
• Hunter Biden was mobbed by fans in Ireland oblivious to the sex and drug-fueled revelations he exposed to his cell phone camera. If there were cell phone cameras when I was young, it's not all the booze, women or cocaine that'd cancel my presidential campaign. But if I emcee ONE Minstrel Show in blackface back when I was in the sixth grade in 1963, the best I can do is Prime Minister of Canada.
(COMMENT, BELOW)