Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Anheuser Busch sparked a customer boycott angry over Bud Light celebrating trans-gender rights by putting trans-influencer Dylan Mulvaney's picture on the cans and cartons. The anger is real. In just two days Anheuser Busch has gotten more people to quit drinking than AA has in eighty-eight years.

• China announced its navy will inspect every ship that enters the Straits of Formosa on Thursday a week after President Xi said China and Russia will create a new world order. This is no time for a passive response. If you're being chased through the woods by a pack of taxidermists, do NOT play dead.

• Governor Ron DeSantis prevailed in a battle to keep Florida educators from teaching sexual self-identity to grade schoolers. They grow up too fast as it is. Last week a second-grade teacher here in West Hollywood asked her class if anyone can define straight, and in unison they shouted, without ice!

• House Republicans vowed to call Alvin Bragg to testify why he charged a former president with a felony without naming one felony in a thirty-four count indictment. Bragg could be in some legal jeopardy. At the very least the U.S. Department of Wildlife can charge him with fishing without a license.

• Facebook told USA Today Monday that Facebook will change its algorithm to give users more control over all the click bait and graphic content that assails us daily. Last weekend, I was notified by Facebook that I have been on Facebook for twelve years. I can remember when it was all Farmland.

• Bud Light enlisted the endorsement and used the image of trans-gender activist and social media influencer Dylan Mulvaney on their cartons. The number of followers these influencers command impresses me. Being popular on the Internet is like sitting at the cool cafeteria table in a mental hospital.

• Brandon Johnson was elected Chicago Mayor who's vowed to replace police with social workers despite all the crime. It made me sorry my new 3-D TV is so incredibly realistic. Last night I went to sleep watching a Chicago White Sox game and when I woke up, I‘d been shot and my wallet was gone.

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• The NCAA Women's Basketball Finals game between Iowa and LSU drew gigantic TV ratings on Sunday. It raised interest in all women's sports. I was watching a women's beach volleyball game on ESPN Tuesday that was marred by a wrist injury, but the doctor said I should be healed by next week.

• President Biden's ex-assistant told a House committee Biden did not keep secret documents at Penn Biden Center locked up. In addition to his garage, Biden also kept classified papers stored unlocked in DC's Chinatown. Last night I opened a fortune cookie and it was the president's nuclear launch codes.

• Donald Trump's son Eric released campaign fundraising numbers Wednesday which showed that Trump raised ten million dollars since the indictment was announced Friday. Trump, if nothing else, is a genius at making money. It took him five days to turn a $130,000 investment into ten million dollars.

• Trump flew back to Florida after his indictment and gave a speech slamming D.A. Alvin Bragg for ignoring New York street crime to slap Republicans with felonies. If Trump had shot someone on 5th Avenue in broad daylight he would have been better off. Alvin Bragg would have reduced that to a misdemeanor.

• New York D.A. Alvin Bragg's Trump indictment was ripped by legal experts on both left and right as amateurish. New D.A.s need time to develop just like new comics. When I first went onstage in L.A. in 1976, I bombed so badly and so often, Yassar Arafat came to my apartment and offered me a scholarship.

• Bragg tried to Get Trump on thirty-four charges for trying to influence an election with a private transaction made a year AFTER the election was over. Also New York election laws don't apply to federal elections. It took a day in the spotlight to make Alvin Bragg look like he received his law degree at Acme.

• New York District Attorney Alvin Bragg's indictment of Trump got bad reviews even from CNN and MSNBC. It listed no crime and said he election-interfered with 2016 in 2017. I don't want to say Bragg missed his shot to nail Trump but there's a New York law on the books passed in 1686 that bans adultery.

• White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre fiercely resisted questioning from the New York Times and Fox News Wednesday. They sought reaction to Trump's indictment in New York. She would only read Biden's written statement stating that he is delighted to be invited to King Henry VIII's coronation.

• Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. announced he'll run for the Democratic presidential nomination against Joe Biden on Wednesday. It so happens, Biden keeps a bust of his father Bobby Kennedy behind his desk in the Oval Office. The Secret Service just surrounded the bust to protect it from any re-enactments.

• Los Angeles was rated the top of the ten most narcissistic cities in America in a survey measuring retail cosmetic sales and plastic surgery procedures. Psychiatrists say narcissism is a combination of low self-esteem and high ego. The L.A. town motto is, I may not be much but I'm all I ever think about.

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