Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY JWR UPDATE. IT'S FREE. (AND NO SPAM!) Just click here.

• The San Francisco Giants hosted the New York Yankees last night to open the 2026 baseball season. The home opener in the nation's capital for the Washington Nationals is April 3rd. President Trump didn't quite hear it right when told he gets to throw out the First Pitch, he thought he was deporting Joy Behar.

• The NCAA basketball tournament on CBS reached a fever pitch this week with the onset of the Sweet 16 bracketed teams beginning play tonight. Player security is very tight for the locker rooms. The Sweet 16 wanted no misunderstanding and just obtained a restraining order against Prince Andrew.

• McDonald's restaurant is partnering with Netflix to allow you to vote for your favorite KPop demon by which food item you choose to order. Speaking of McDonald's demons, a woman in North Carolina found a Nazi symbol on her hamburger. She noticed it when the bun overran the French Fries.

• Love Story about JFK Jr. and Carolyn Bissette is a hit on FX. The fact that he was a faithful one-woman man while his father was Jack Kennedy and his grandfathers were rascals Black Jack Bouvier and Old Joe Kennedy makes me think the series is mis-titled. It should be called Adoption Story.

• Jane Fonda complained about Barbra Streisand being selected for the Robert Redford Oscars salute and not her. Streisand is the only one in Hollywood to the left of Jane. This morning on her walk, Barbra called the Bel Air Patrol on three neighbors for watching Fox News with the window open.

• The LPGA is being sued by a transgender female golfer to be allowed on the tour. The women pros don't drive the golf ball as far as men, so you see a lot of middle-iron play from the fairways. I'm a man and so I really don't want to see a 6-iron, but if I do, I'll tell Taylor Swift to press my shirts.

• President Trump was optimistic in his war news Tuesday, saying that great progress was being made by his negotiator. The live news footage of the missile and air and drone attacks has been spectacular. I don't know which of the two sides is going to win this war, Lockheed Martin or Raytheon.

• Senator Markwayne Mullin was sworn in as Homeland Security Secretary in the Oval Office Tuesday. The number of illegals allowed into the U.S. under Biden may be irrelevant to him. Markwayne Mullin is Cherokee and he estimates the number of illegal aliens living in America at 350 million.

• The GOP Save America bill is drawing ferocious Democratic opposition for banning gender reassignment surgery for kids. In Iran, gender reassignment surgery is legal and supported by the Iranian ruling regime. The surgery center is on the 31st floor just through the window by the elevator.

• Senate Democrats and Republicans failed to reach a deal to get the TSA and FEMA and the Coast Guard and Secret Service funded over ICE deportation practices. With no U.S. Coast Guard and the Strait of Hormuz closed, cocaine is now cheaper than gasoline. Nevertheless it's still a long walk to the dealer's.

• The Financial Times reported that Iran informed the Maritime Organization member states that non-hostile vessels may use the Strait of Hormuz. Critics call it a brazen way of trying to bribe nations not to join the U.S.-led coalition. It's the most naked abuse of oil since P. Diddy's last house party.

• The New York Times reported that the White House will deploy the 82nd Airborne to action in the Iran War to coincide with the arrival of the U.S. Marines. It's all starting to make sense. I don't want to say I think I can see what's coming, but I do hope the first wave doesn't forget to bring the Shah.

(COMMENT, BELOW)