Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• USA Today reports a poll saying two-thirds of Americans oppose changing the clocks back and forth an hour twice a year for Daylight Savings. It always causes problems. Sunday morning in New York, an ISIS-inspired terrorist set the clock forward on his backpack and blew himself up an hour early.

• The Hollywood Reporter notes Arnold Schwarzenegger confirmed at the Arnold Sports Festival in Ohio he will be shooting a new Conan movie for 20th-Century Fox. The studio says in the movie an age-appropriate Conan will be brought back into action. The current title is Conan the Octogenarian.

• KC Chiefs star Travis Kelce is negotiating a final year contract before he marries Taylor Swift in June. He's not the only NFL Romeo. In a pairing that should be covered by National Geographic, Cincinnati QB Joe Burrow, 29, is dating Jessica Alba, 44, suggesting that Bengals can mate with Cougars.

• The Seattle Times reported on research by marine biologists in Puget Sound Monday. It found that the Salmon caught by fishermen are full of drugs and pain killers flushed into the Duwamish River. The salmon are full of cocaine and anti-depressants. It's why restaurants price them by the gram.

• President Trump hinted Friday he may order boots on the ground to finish the war. The sitting government is so hard to dislodge it makes the entire war an air campaign. I don't know who's going to win the war between Iran and the United States but I suspect it is going to be Lockheed-Martin.

• Nancy Pelosi condemned President Trump's continuing attack on Iran, calling it a violation of the War Powers Act. Nancy's mild hearing loss may have led her to fear that she was in personal peril. Pelosi thought Trump said the military situation in Iran might require us to have boobs on the ground.

• Forbes reports that Estate and Trust planning is a booming legal field due to the huge number of Baby Boomers now engaged in wealth transfer. Common sense is sorely needed. The son of Ali Khamenei was just elected Iran's Supreme Leader and his funeral services are scheduled for Friday.

• President Trump assured Americans that gas prices will fall shortly as he secures the Straits of Hormuz for oil tankers. Gas prices have risen 50 cents in one week, but here in California it's a real struggle for people to adjust. Today on the San Diego Freeway, I saw a van with 50 legal Americans in it.

• Senate Democrats warned Friday of the dangers of attempted regime change in Iran based on past experience. The War in Afghanistan starting in 2001 is still fresh on our minds. It took 20 years, $2.5 trillion, 4,000 dead and 10,000 wounded before we replaced the Taliban with the Taliban.

• James Carville bragged about his Trump Derangement Syndrome in a video Monday. He shook his fist, and demanded that G od strike him with more Trump Derangement Syndrome so he can hate Trump even more. He's set for life after signing with GlaxoSmithKline to be the crash dummy for Paxil.

• New York City had a terrorist attack Monday when two ISIS inspired Muslim terrorists threw two bombs at people protesting Mayor Mamdani. The bombs didn't go off. Mayor Mamdani blamed the terror attack on white supremacy, and doubled the sales tax on Polo apparel and pickle ball paddles.

• Notre Dame reported Nancy Pelosi will give the commencement address at the 2026 graduation in June. It's like musical chairs this week. With the death of the Ayatollah and imprisonment of Venezuela's Nicolas Maduro, Columbia University is scrambling to find a new commencement speaker.

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