Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• The Wall Street Journal cited the Gallup Poll which said the percentage of Americans who are confident in our country's future has declined to 62%. I think we've come a long way. Just a year ago, Venezuelans and Iranians were burning American flags and now, that only happens in Minneapolis.

• President Trump agreed to be roasted at the White House Correspondents Dinner held in April at the Washington DC Hilton. The comedian may have a tough job with this crowd. The problem with Trump jokes is that Republicans don't think they're funny and Democrats don't think they're jokes.

• Jim Carrey cited his French roots accepting France's highest movie award Friday. Much like the French veneration of Jerry Lewis, they adore Jim for his physical comedy genius. In the art of hilarious pratfalls, the French rank Jim Carrey just ahead of Jerry Lewis and just behind Joe Biden.

• The Old Vic Theater in London settled with a Kevin Spacey accuser who says Spacey sexually assaulted him when he was the theater's artistic director. The actor had one criminal charge in the U.S. and 9 in the UK. Somewhere in Hollywood, a movie casting director just shouted, that's our Epstein!

• DHS Secretary Kristi Noem was denounced in Senate hearings over the ICE agents shooting 2 people in Minneapolis. Senator Tillis piled on and scolded her for shooting her 14-month-old dog for being un-trainable. Maybe we should realize it was a miracle only 2 people were shot in Minneapolis.

• President Trump suggested that the Crown Prince Pahlavi, the son of the late Shah, might be a unifying moderate leader for a new Westernized Iran. The current 47-year theocratic dictatorship is incapable of modernity. Being a moderate Ayatollah is a lot like being the least-drunk Australian.

• Teheran street demonstrations celebrating the Ayatollah's death began breaking out in the streets of Iran's capital city. Just this week, a jubilant crowd in Teheran tore down a huge statue of the slain Ayatollah. The statue will be shipped across the Atlantic and put back up in Harvard Yard.

• Democrats blamed the administration for spiking gas prices by attacking Iran. The average price of gasoline at the pump went up twenty-five cents per gallon in the last week. Quickly President Trump went onto Truth Social to warn Americans that Joe Biden was raising oil prices again.

• The Chicago Mercantile Exchange saw oil prices soar to $80 a barrel on fears of oil shipments getting choked off. I myself made a sizable fortune last week in the commodities market. I filled up my gas tank the day before the attack on Iran, and now I scoff at all the Buy Gold commercials.

• President Trump ordered the U.S. Navy to escort all oil tankers through the Straits of Hormuz to protect them from drone attacks. There has reportedly been concern that Iran has five new submarines lurking in the Persian Gulf. What they don't say is that just last week they were battleships.

• President Trump met German Chancellor Frederick Mertz at the White House and thanked him for Germany's support in the attack on Iran. Germany's support is no surprise. If you want to learn how to make a perfect German chocolate cake, the recipe says first, invade the kitchen.

• Democratic House leader Hakeem Jeffries predicted the U.S. action in Iran will end in failure. Democratic Senate Leader Chuck Schumer called it an illegal action under the War Powers Act. Last night, four Democrats killed each other at the bridge table because they all wanted to play No Trump.

• The House Oversight Committee released the video of Bill Clinton's testimony over his photos in the Epstein files. Bill denied knowing Epstein trafficked underage women. The photos show that as Clinton aged, he developed an attraction for women with young bodies and black boxes over their heads.

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