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Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Argus Hamilton

By Argus Hamilton

Published March 18, 2024

Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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Governor Ron DeSantis deployed 250 Florida officers to block Haitian refugees from landing there Thursday. In addition, the Coast Guard will be deployed to intercept, interview and examine the Haitian refugees while still at sea. You're not allowed to emigrate to Florida unless you fail the drug test.

President Biden campaigned in Michigan Thursday while Trump kept a court date in Florida. Biden faces a tough race in big cities due to the crime rate enabled by lenient district attorneys and no bail policies. In four years, New York has gone from Defund the Police to Bring in the National Guard.

Russia's three-day presidential election ends today with Vladimir Putin the heavy favorite to be re-elected again. An optimist is anyone in Russia who stays up late to see how the election came out. In the last election in 2018, 80% voted for Putin, 17% voted for Putin twice, and 3% fell out the window.

Vladimir Putin told Russian state TV his nuclear capability from land, sea and air is superior to that of the U.S. and that he will use them in defense of Russia if so needed. That's scary but Thursday there was more frightening news from overseas. Boeing just announced they have fixed the Middle East.

The U.S. and England banned airliners from flying over Yemen due to vows by Houthi's to shoot down Western airliners using surface-to-air missiles. They did allow one to fly over safely yesterday. The plane was built by Boeing and the Houthi's decided not to shoot it down out of professional courtesy.

The Seattle Times chastised Boeing for the company's terrible public messaging last week in the wake of its string of six mishaps involving Boeing airliners that frightened air travelers. Boeing's CEO had a great excuse for being late to the press briefing. He lost a door and a wheel on the drive over.

Princess Kate Middleton was busted when the tabloids deduced she'd photoshopped a photo of herself surrounded by her kids on England's Mother's Day last Sunday. It set off a worldwide funny meme competition. My winner is a picture of a radiantly smiling Kate surrounded by the Addams Family.

Bobby Kennedy told Fox News Tuesday his ballot signature gatherers will put him on the 2024 ballot as an Independent candidate in all 50 states. He made big news Wednesday when he reported he is considering Aaron Rodgers as his running mate. Only Bobby's Uncle Jack completed more passes.

Aaron Rodgers' availability for a VP candidacy reportedly depends on his Achilles heel injury that ended his last season. He's had 13 serious injuries in his 20-year career, but don't label the guy. Just because you were conceived in the bathroom during a Boeing airliner flight does NOT make you accident prone.

Daily Variety reports the Magic Castle nightclub in Hollywood suspended the popular Murray the Magician for revealing secrets to magic tricks. My old roommate was a magician who married his assistant that he used to saw in half onstage. They divorced and now she lives in Miami…. and Detroit.

Boeing vowed Tuesday to fix the mechanical problems that have plagued their airliners the last month. Doors that fly off mid-flight, flight controls jammed, an engine caught fire and a tire fell off after take-off. This week, Boeing stock dropped like Bill Clinton's pants on the runway at Epstein Island.

United Airlines asked Boeing to stop making 737 Max 10 Airliners designed to compete with Airbus and go with the smaller 737 Air Max 9 Last week at a college campus job fair, a graduating senior showed up three hours late for his interview with United Airlines. And he was hired on the spot.

President Biden and Trump sewed up their presidential nominations Tuesday and Independent candidate RFK Jr. looks determined to make this election a three-way race. Last Friday night, I arranged to be in a three-way. Oh sure we had a couple of no-shows, but I ended up having a great time.

The House sent the Senate a bill whipped up by the US security services to ban TikTok if they don't exit its Chinese holding company. They say China uses TikTok to distort information in order to brainwash Americans for their own political purposes. Who does TikTok they think they are, the CIA?

The House overwhelmingly passed a bill Wednesday to ban TikTok if the platform's board of directors doesn't divest TikTok of its Chinese parent company. It's extremely popular. The Health Department reported Wednesday that TikTok has 177 million users in the U.S., second only to Fentanyl.

Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen admitted the Treasury Department asked banks to scan credit card transactions to search for any seditious, racist or offensive words in order trigger an FBI or IRS probe by the Biden Administration. That settles it. I'm paying cash for my fraternity's old songbook.

President Biden tried to connect with black voters in Wisconsin Wednesday claiming personal involvement in the civil rights movement in the 1960s. This is where Joe's memory loss works for him. If Joe Biden were a greeter at WalMart, he'd say hello to customers as they were leaving the store.

Hunter Biden refused the invitation to testify before the House Wednesday unless the House calls Donald Trump's kids to testify about their deals. This week marked the House and Senate's 235th anniversary. Since March 1789, every day in Congress begins with a prayer, followed by an investigation.

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