Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

New York Democratic District Attorney Alvin Bragg denied his prosecution of Trump is politically motivated. However no legal expert thinks he has a criminal case. The district attorney is so easy on street criminals that Trump thought about killing someone to get Bragg to drop all charges.

• President Biden cuddled a baby onstage at the White House celebration of the 13th anniversary of the passage of Obama Care Thursday and declared that he loves babies better than people. I'm not surprised at all to hear it. There's an obvious reason why Joe Biden loves babies, they both wear diapers.

• Congress ripped Tik Tok's CEO for China's communist party's ability to use Tik Tok to spy on Americans and harvest all our data from our phones. The carriers got a panicky call after the hearings. AT&T told its customers to just relax, because China can't spy on you if you can't get a signal.

• Walt Disney CEO Bob Iger conceded Thursday that the price of admission to Disney World has gotten too high and that the theme park needs to be more accessible for families. There is no irony greater than the irony of Disney World. For starters, the fact that it's a giant human trap set by a mouse.

• Frito-Lay, the maker of Cracker Jacks, introduced a new version of Cracker Jacks Friday called Cracker Jill. The logo on the new box, I swear, displays a slender African American woman as Cracker Jill. She's the first black lady to self-identify as a Cracker since Condoleeza Rice backed the war in Iraq.

• The White House reported that last week was The Peoples against Racism and Racial Discrimination Week. In a come to Jesus moment, Fox News took a week off its Chicago coverage. Out here, black folks and white folks have a difficult time getting along in L.A. because neither one of us speaks Spanish.

• The London Daily Mail reported that the Ian Fleming Trust approved the re-editing of the author's James Bond novels, written in the 1950s, to appease today's woke and equity-driven young readers. However, the spy may be more lethal now. Already one Bond novel has been re-titled License to Cancel.

• Malibu police escorted Dick Van Dyke home after the beloved ninety-seven-year-old star crashed his car into a security gate in Malibu. He won't be easy to eulogize someday. In today's gender-fluid era, a year from now you may get canceled on all social media platforms just for saying Dick Van Dyke.

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• Midwest Democrat governors asked Biden to name Chicago to host the Democratic Convention in 2024. Animal rights activists won't like it. The Convention Center is across the street from the Chicago Stockyards and if the cattle are downwind from the speeches they might get sick from the smell.

• Las Vegas hotels were reported setting up legal consumption lounges for pot smokers to keep them out of the casinos and off the streets. It was reported that Las Vegas hotels on the Strip were having a real cannabis problem. They're getting clobbered at the All You Can Eat Buffets.

• The New York Times published another scary climate change warning Wednesday saying that the earth is speeding toward catastrophe if we don't act fast. It's a partisan article of faith. Democrats keep saying that the sky is falling when the only thing falling is Joe Biden on the steps of Air Force One.

• The Alexander Graham Bell Museum in Canada will re-stage the inventor's first phone call for tourists this summer. The first phone call was made in 1876 to his assistant Watson in the next room. Historians now believe the second phone call was to ask Alexander Graham Bell about his car warranty.

• President Xi promised global changes the world hasn't seen in one hundred years as he struck a deal with Russia Tuesday. It aligns with my March Madness bracket card. I've had the U.S. and Britain versus Russia and China in my Final Four since I ducked under the desk in the third grade and covered.

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