Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Greta Thunberg received an honorary doctorate from a college in Finland for her environmental crusade Friday after the climate alarmist declared the world will end in three years. Well, the jokes on HER, I just took out a thirty-year mortgage and a five-year loan on a new Ferrari. It's called winning!

• The Miami Herald reported Spring Break in Miami Beach resulted in four hundred arrests, most for public drunk. The city's diverse culture is new for many kids. Back when I was in college on spring break in Miami, I remember calling their Alcoholic Helpline and asking them how you make a Mojito.

• Statistics and Data reported that English is the most spoken language in the world with a billion and a half people English-fluent. Context is vital for new speakers to be able to discern. Otherwise, you don't know if take out means food or dating or you have just ordered someone murdered.

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• Tik Tok was shredded by Congress Thursday over their ability to be used by China's communist party to spy on Americans. They've used beautiful Chinese women to spy in California. I should have known my former-girlfriend was a communist because, looking back, there were plenty of red flags.

• National Review noted CNN and MSNBC are following up on the reparations movement by playing the race card in political issues as varied as climate change and banking. The villain is always white privilege. According to woke culture, there's nothing wrong with me that reincarnation won't cure.

• Donald Trump faces possible indictment in New York today for a hush money payment to the porn star. Back in 1999 Bill Clinton paid Paula Jones $850,000 to shut up and go away and in 2016 Donald Trump paid Stormy Daniels $130,000 to shut up and go away. It shows Trump knows how to negotiate!

• Donald Trump was reported Friday likely able to return to prime time TV hosting if he decides not to run for president in 2024. This week I'm pitching a new reality show to NBC called The Apprentice: The Historical Figures Edition. Each week, Donald Trump fires a different famous leader from history.

• Donald Trump hosted his first rally of the election season Saturday in Texas where he ripped the opposition for using the government as a weapon to suppress Republicans. Of course there are two sides to every dispute. Democrats vow to arrest as many political opponents as it takes to defeat Fascism.

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