Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Academy Awards producers are reportedly worried the ceremony will draw low ratings due to stars using the stage as a political platform in the past. I hope Oscar night spotlights glamour and movie magic and not political issues. Hollywood should stick to doing what it does best, cocaine and each other.

• NFL ex-quarterback Colin Kaepernick plugged his new book Friday and said his adoptive white parents displayed racism in the house when he grew up. I can image the pouting when he was told to do his chores. They made him sing spirituals as he picked up the tee-shirts and jeans he left on the floor.

• GOP Senate Leader Mitch McConnell received a nice note from President Biden in the hospital in Lexington Thursday wishing him a speedy recovery after his third recent fall. The mishap left the senator and the president tied at three apiece. It's the classic tale of the Tortoise and the Hair Plugs.

• House Democrats ripped into reporters Thursday for exposing FBI collusion with Twitter. When did we morph into the security state? If I were locked inside a room with an agent from the FBI, the CIA and NSA and I had a gun with only two bullets, I'd shoot myself in the back of the head three times.

• Mexico's Matamoros cartel left a letter of apology for the deaths of Americans and gave up five men they say committed the crime. The letter said the men acted rashly and against strict cartel orders to leave Americans alone. It's the craziest tourism ad for Spring Break in Mexico, but it just might work.

• Jill Biden held a White House awards lunch honoring International Women's Day and gave the Woman of Courage Award to a biological male who identifies as a woman. It never ends. When I was in Vancouver I drove onto the TransCanada Expressway and I wondered if it was assigned USA at birth.

• Dr. Fauci went on Fox News Thursday to deny he excluded CDC's Robert Redfield from a call to discuss the origins of Covid. The same day, potential 2024 Democratic presidential challenger Gavin Newsom revealed tests showed he has Covid. Jill Biden sent Gavin a message urging him to stay positive.

• California Governor Gavin Newsom announced he cut off all state business with Walgreens due to refusal to sell abortion pills where abortions are illegal. He was backed up by predictable celebrity fury. Michael Moore wants to ban Walgreens, but first he wants all the candy bars in stock sent to him.

GET ARGUS' DAILY SMILES TO YOUR INBOX. SIGN UP FOR THE JWR UPDATE. IT'S FREE. Just click here.

• The Walt Disney Company released the trailer for the upcoming action adventure Peter Pan and Wendy based on J.M. Barrie's classic 1904 English stage hit. Naturally Disney changed everything to make it acceptable to today's woke culture. They gave Tinker Bell a plus-sized sister named Taco Bell.

• Tiger Woods's girlfriend Erica Herman sued Tiger for thirty million claiming he tricked her into leaving to change the locks. Tiger got physically battered by wife Elin in his first big break-up. The only thing worse than your wife smashing your face with a 9-iron is Lorena Bobbitt stealing your putter.

• GOP Senate Leader Mitch McConnell fell and was injured Wednesday in his second major fall in addition to bruises on his hand that may have been incurred from a third fall. He's tied with Biden 3-3. It gives Democrats and Republicans mutual assured destruction in jokes about old-leaders-falling-down.

• The House Oversight Committee on Wednesday heard testimony from former CDC Director Robert Redfield. He said Covid came from the Wuhan lab, financed by our own NIH, funded to China from Fauci. Not that anyone's keeping score, but the conspiracy theorists are now leading 42-0.

• FBI Director Christopher Wray testified before a Senate committee Wednesday and laid out the dangers posed to the U.S. by the Mexican cartels operating across the border. They make billions of dollars delivering drugs to Americans and pay no taxes. Pfizer has decided to franchise another country.

• The House heard testimony Wednesday from veterans of the Afghanistan withdrawal who blast the administration for leaving Afghan allies behind. The plane's runway departure was simply crazy. Many Afghans converted to Scientology hoping they could hold onto an airliner's wing like Tom Cruise.

• The CIA says China goes on Ancestry to collect DNA on Americans so they can eventually craft viruses to kill us individually. My Hamilton line lost three civil wars fighting for King Charles, King George and King Cotton. My DNA says the only way China can kill me is through positive social change.

(COMMENT, BELOW)