Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis went on a book tour Sunday and ripped woke education in grade schools, but his warnings may be too late for Los Angeles. The couple next door to me just gave birth to a baby, but they don't know if it's a boy or a girl. They said they'll let the kindergarten teacher decide.

• President Biden signed an order removing Tik Tok from all government phones. Biden recently went on Tik Tok to convince kids that high gas prices are Russia's fault. Excuse me, but doesn't an eighty-year-old man going on Tik Tok automatically trigger an interview with the Child Sex Abuse Unit?

• FBI Director Chris Wray said the FBI determined Covid virus came from a Wuhan lab leak. So it's possible Dr. Fauci's NIH financed the Wuhan lab as he bought stock in drug companies that'd treat the virus once it escaped. He's such a great investor he's now a separate division at Berkshire Hathaway.

• The White House said Thursday it won't conclude that the virus came from the Wuhan lab until all 17 intelligence agencies agree. They're the same intel agencies that said Hunter's laptop was Russian disinformation. Keep watch on what the NSA says, they're the only agency I feel that truly listens to me.

• The U.S. government on Thursday allowed Taiwan to purchase F-16's from Lockheed Martin and missiles from Raytheon, in a grand day for the defense industry. The same day, China's navy sent three warships into Taiwanese territorial waters. China assured Taiwan they were just weather warships.

• New York, Chicago and San Francisco officials acknowledged they are overwhelmed by all the illegal immigrants and homeless people jamming their streets. Authoritarianism never ends well. They call it a Sanctuary City because if they called it a Concentration Camp, you might not want to live there. Hillary Clinton is in Nashville holding a Clinton Global Initiative fundraiser at Vanderbilt, sure to ra

• ke in millions. I've given up and admire her for the sheer artistry of the stings. I'd like to shake the hand of the guy who's gathered all the evidence against Hillary, but we're not gonna dig him up for that.

GET ARGUS' DAILY SMILES TO YOUR INBOX. SIGN UP FOR THE JWR UPDATE. IT'S FREE. Just click here.

• The Ian Fleming Trust agreed to edit the James Bond novels written in the 1950s to more reflect both today's sensibilities and today's perils. The editing will start with the book titles. The first book title change is James Bond's most recent death-risking adventure in You Only Live Twice if Vaccinated.

• The Weather Channel reports more freak weather on the West Coast for the second consecutive week. But when the storm clouds cleared briefly Wednesday, L.A. residents witnessed a spectacular sight never before seen. The mountains that ring Los Angeles were buried in six feet of global warming.

• President Biden in Virginia Tuesday repeated his vow to ban assault rifles. U.S. assault rifles are modeled on the famous Kalashnikvov light machine gun created by a Soviet gun maker in World War II. It's ironic that Democrats want to get rid of the only thing socialism ever produced that works.

• Bernie Sanders is charging a hundred dollars a ticket on his tour to promote his book attacking capitalism. I believe socialism is just a virtue-signaling pose. I've noticed over my life that leftists stop preaching about equality, fairness and shared sacrifice the moment they start winning at Monopoly.

• FBI Director Chris Wray stated the FBI determined Covid came from China's Wuhan Lab. Now the Republicans want to go to war with China while Democrats want to go to war with Russia. If cooler heads prevail perhaps we can meet each other halfway and just go back to war in the Middle East.

• The State Department warned China not to send weapons to Russia for its Ukraine war. A military alliance between Russia and China could threaten world peace or even possibly replace the dollar with the Yuan as the world currency. I can feel the winds of change, either that or there's a hole in my shorts.

• Disney's war with Florida escalated Monday when a new law gave the state control over Disney World. That day, the park's It's a Small World attraction added dolls in wheelchairs for inclusivity. At last animatronic figures that can't walk up stairs won't be limited to Joe Biden in the Hall of Presidents.

• President Biden spoke in Virginia Beach Tuesday calling for higher taxes on wealthy Americans and for closing of tax deductions for corporate investments and raising the tax stock dividends. I think I've figured out why Uncle Sam wears such a tall hat. It comes in handy when he passes it around.

• Buckingham Palace declined to say whether Prince Harry and Meghan, the Duke and Duchess of Netflix, will be invited to the King's coronation in May in London. This week King Charles evicted Harry and Meghan from their in-town residence called Frogmore Cottage. They live in South Park now.

(COMMENT, BELOW)