Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• President Trump dodged another assassination attempt Sunday by being at the White House instead of Mar-a-Lago. The shooter drove south to Florida from North Carolina instead of north to Washington DC. The Democrats' plan to get out of listening to the State of the Union has failed again.

• President Trump will give his State of the Union speech to Congress tonight while Democrats are reported planning to give their response to Trump's speech in Spanish. It seems lazy. Because the Democrats are boycotting Trump's speech, they've just decided to re-run the Bad Bunny halftime show.

• North Carolina's Austin Tucker Martin was killed by the Secret Service as he broke into Mar-a-Lago wielding a shotgun and a can of gas. He fits the historical pattern. Like John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, Lynette Squeaky Fromm and Hillary Rodham Clinton, they all went by three names.

• President Trump demanded Netflix fire Susan Rice after she vowed Democrat revenge against companies that drop racial progressive DEI programs installed by Obama. It's ironic Rice ended up at Netflix. The entire Trump agenda is a remake of a classic Netflix series, Orange Is the New Black.

• The DOJ launched an anti-trust lawsuit against Ticket Master and Live Nation for fixing ticket prices to rock concerts. Tickets for Bruce Springsteen's upcoming nationwide No Kings Tour went on sale on Saturday and the cheapest tickets cost $200 apiece. He should also call it No Peasants, Either.

• ABC's Women of the View's regular panelists went on defense Friday after the latest rollout of the Epstein Files. It was revealed that Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar were named in the latest files. They have the distinction of being the only two women in all the files asked NOT come to his island.

• Prince Andrew lost his titles after Epstein files photos were released showing him frolicking with so many underage girls that the lawsuits may never end. I say never doubt that there's always a way out. Prince Andrew converted to Islam this morning and the London Police dropped all charges.

• The Weather Channel reported a bone-chilling cold front sweeping the U.S. after it dumped record snowfall in Northern California and a rainstorm in L.A. The Eastern Seaboard had blizzards Monday. The temperature in New York this morning is just like the Royal Family, Minus-One.

• King Charles issued a statement from Buckingham Palace Thursday saying that the law must take its course, no matter what, in his brother's court case. A stiff upper lip gets you through times like these. The Royal Family are said to be devastated after Prince Andrew's car crash next Wednesday.

• The U.S. Men's Hockey team beat Canada Sunday to win the Gold in the Winter Games after the U.S. women's hockey team defeated Canada's women for the gold. Hockey is Canada's national sport but just a side topic in the U.S. The win was the equivalent Utah defeating Germany in Beer Pong.

• Billy Bob Thornton told Joe Rogan that Hollywood is prejudiced against Southerners. When I first moved to L.A. in 1976, my apartment building maid heard my accent and told me she refused to clean my place. Luckily she was a Dodgers fan and I convinced her we both live to beat the Yankees next time.

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