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• President's Day is being celebrated with parties and fife and drum this weekend at George Washington's Mount Vernon estate. It was there that George raised tobacco, brewed beer, distilled whiskey and grew hemp. He was revered by young people in the Colonies as the Father of Spring Break.
• The Super Bowl drew the second-biggest TV audience in history to the start of the game but Bad Bunny's halftime show in Spanish sent the numbers in free fall. You can't make it up. Leave it to Bad Bunny to sing a rap song against ICE and at the same time he deports 6 million viewers.
• Daily Variety urged the NFL to change the Super Bowl halftime performer selection process after Bad Bunny caused millions of views to turn off the TV or switch channels. During Bunny's entire halftime performance last Sunday, zero words were spoken in English. It was like a Biden speech.
• Congresswoman Rashida Talib grilled Attorney General Pam Bondi in hearings about some redactions in the Epstein files. That's rich. The congresswoman is America's leading advocate for Muslim rights, and if Americans lived under Sharia law, Jeffrey Epstein would have been a Prophet.
• President Trump hosted coal industry CEOs and coal miners in the Oval Office to order the Pentagon to use coal-fired plants. The president looked relaxed with the coal miners. No revelations in the Epstein files give Democrats the chance to claim that Trump had sex with coal miners.
• Elon Musk told Spacex employees to work on building a factory on the moon to churn out AI satellites. He then wants them to build a giant catapult on the moon to launch the AI satellites into space. He thinks men can survive on Mars, but I tried it once and nearly wound up with Type 2 diabetes.
• Bobby Kennedy and Theo Von reminisced about going to AA meetings during Covid and RFK said he wasn't afraid of germs, he used to snort cocaine off toilet seats. I've been there. Health benefits aside, in the long run it's such a waste of money that in California we refer to cocaine as high speed rail.
• Fox News reported a glove was found on a road near the Guthrie home adding to the endless number of clues for pundits and armchair detectives to analyze on the air. Cable news coverage has been non-stop day and night for 12 days. I now know why Elvis shot his television sets from time to time.
• Harvey Levin reported Bitcoin demands for the kidnapper's whereabouts. On day 12, with 10 law enforcement agencies on the case, an FBI agent called the kidnapper an untrained amateur. For all we know, Nancy may be starring in a prime time network TV series and that's why nobody's seen her.
• Senate Democrats rejected a compromise on ICE reforms Thursday and likely forced a U.S. government shutdown over Homeland Security funding. For a week the Coast Guard won't get paid. The Weather Channel's 7-day forecast for the south coast of Florida is sunny and mostly Haitian.
• House Republicans passed the Save Act to require Voter ID at the polls, a bill Senator Chuck Schumer is denouncing as Jim Crow 2.0. That's not innately dooming. As a kid, I was raised under Jim Crow 1.0 and I'm proud to say I grew up to be the only white guy invited to Richard Pryor's funeral.
• President Trump said Thursday he invited all the nation's governors to the governors' dinner at the White House but Democratic governors are balking over politics. It shocked comedians when Illinois Governor JB Pritzker turned down the dinner, any dinner. So that's 2 seats that just opened up.
• Tom Homan wrapped up ICE operations in Minneapolis Thursday after months of successful raids arresting 4,000 illegal migrants, many of them criminals. Tom eats, sleeps and lives to snatch criminals off the street. The sign over the motel where he stayed in Minneapolis reads As Seen on COPS.
• L.A. Mayor Karen Bass signed an executive order to restrict the ability of immigration enforcement agents to operate on city property. Today I drove to Home Depot to purchase a dishwasher but there were none there thanks to ICE. So I went inside and bought one from Home Depot.
• The Daily Mail reports that a joint U.S.-Colombian operation blew up 2 tons of cocaine on the High Seas. That was big news in my neighborhood. West Hollywood is the only city where USPS tracking pops up in your inbox to tell you that Your Package Has been destroyed by the U.S. Navy.
• Kentucky Governor Andy Beshear cited the Bible to defend his veto of a bill that would have banned transgender treatments for children. It was certainly never an issue when I was a kid. I'm old enough to remember when blowing a tranny meant over-torquing your souped-up Camaro.
• House Speaker Mike Johnson was able to engineer passage of the SAVE Act Wednesday that requires voters to produce a Voter ID at the polls to vote, with Democrats bitterly opposed. That's puzzling because they always had Voter ID in elections in Illinois. All you needed was a death certificate.
• Fox News continued its wall-to-wall coverage of the Nancy Guthrie kidnapping in Tucson for the eleventh day Wednesday, announcing the news that a black glove was found on the road a mile from the crime scene. Great, so O.J. did it. And everyone was hoping this would all be over in two weeks.
• The New York Times published a study which found that chronic use of marijuana can lead to psychosis and schizophrenia. It's also led to a record-low murder rate. That's because when you are high, whoever you shoot is pretty much restricted to whoever's within range of your couch.
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