Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• The National Prayer Breakfast returned to its traditional location at the Washington Hilton on Thursday after two years in the Capitol. President Trump gave a speech, then he led the prayers. That very afternoon his prayers were answered when the Washington Post laid off one-third of their reporters.

• The Super Bowl pitted liberals vs. conservatives in their choice of halftime shows Sunday. The night before the game, I was out on my jog when a mugger popped out of the bushes, pointed a gun at my head and asked if I was going to watch Kid Rock or Bad Bunny. I told him to just pull the trigger.

• Bad Bunny's lyrics in Spanish during the Super Bowl halftime show were graphic depictions of body parts, sex acts, drug use and drug use during sex. It sounds like he had a rough childhood. As a teenager Bad Bunny came out as a pansexual, and his parents told him to stay the hell out of the kitchen.

• The Coast Guard sank a speedboat full of drugs in the Pacific headed for L.A. Monday. Bad Bunny's halftime show reminded me there were 3-and-a-half grams of cocaine in every bottle of Coca-Cola in 1898. So we may not have been thinking very clearly that year when we seized Puerto Rico.

• U.S women's skier Lindsey Vonn crashed on her skis at high speed into a gate Saturday in the Winter Olympics Women's Downhill. Come to think of it, she dated Tiger Woods for three years. Now I'm starting to wonder if Tiger gave Lindsey skiing lessons or if Lindsey gave Tiger driving lessons.

• The Weather Channel reports record low temperatures in the Northeast on Monday after an Arctic front swept into the Eastern Seaboard. It plunged temperatures to 36-below-zero in Upstate New York. The next time we threaten to invade Greenland, let's do it in the summer when it's unarmed.

• Jeffrey Epstein's Ghislaine Maxwell pleaded the 5th Amendment before a House Committee Monday. Some of the Epstein offenders are going to need really creative defense lawyers. Prince Andrew will have to go all the way back to the year 1066 to claim that no girl is underage on stolen land.

• The German Army marched into Lithuania as part of NATO war games in the first German Army deployment since 1945, waking up old ghosts. The bad news is, a message in German sent 115 years ago by a homing pigeon was just found. The worse news is, it was an acceptance letter to art school.

• Bobby Kennedy rolled out a new initiative Monday that's tasked to reduce mental illness, drug addiction, and mental decline. One of the newly-released studies by Health and Human Services found that picking your nose could be an early sign of dementia. It is, if that's where you left your keys.

• A Harvard study was published Friday which found that men who get married and stay married live healthier lives. Here's what happens when we men stay single. Yesterday I found a quart of milk in the back of my refrigerator that was so old the picture on the milk carton was JonBenet Ramsey.

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