Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• Melinda Gates told a reporter Tuesday that the Epstein Files revelations about her ex-husband Bill Gates brought up painful memories. They were painful for him as well, he reveals he caught STDs from Moscow hookers. But at this point, what's one more Microsoft product infected with a virus?

• The Winter Olympic Games opening ceremony takes place Friday from Milan. The AP griped that the national teams only represent white people, which is untrue. During the 2022 Winter Games Bob Sledding competition, Germany took the Gold and Russia took the Silver, and Somalia took the Sled.

• The New York Post reports a man checked into the emergency room in a Paris hospital Monday with a World War I artillery shell lodged inside his rectum. He obviously risked dying from explosive diarrhea. This is what happens if you go to a BDSM club in Paris and order the Napoleon Blown Apart.

• Bill Clinton agreed to testify in the House Oversight Committee about his relationship with Epstein. Last week's Epstein files revealed Bill had a very close friendship with Jeffrey Epstein. This could possibly destroy his reputation once and for all, and it won't look good for Jeffrey Epstein, either.

• The U.S. Centers for Disease Control reported Tuesday that the average life expectancy in the United States reached an all-time high last year during Trump's first year back in office. Reaction came swiftly. Protestors hit the streets chanting Death is a Human Right, and demanded Trump be impeached.

• Kristi Noem ordered ICE agents to wear body cams to help ICE disprove all the abuse charges by protestors. I think Andy Warhol was wrong in the 1960s when he said in the future everybody will be famous for 15 minutes. It now appears that in the future, everybody will be Zapruder for 15 minutes.

• President Trump met Colombia's Marxist President Petro in the White House Tuesday. I know Petro's countrymen aren't prone to accept Marxism. Between 1976 and 1986, during my hell-raising decade on the Sunset Strip I never met one Colombian who gave me half his cocaine if I didn't have any.

• Senator John Fetterman was ripped by fellow Democrats Sunday over his moderate views on crime and ICE. He's out alone on the same limb as moderate GOP Senator Susan Collins. Today being a moderate Democrat or moderate Republican is like being regarded as the least-drunk Australian.

• Governor Gavin Newsom was given an adoring profile article in Vogue in this month's issue. He's promoting a book ahead of his presidential run in 2028. Gavin Newsom just released a new memoir called Young Man in a Hurry, in which he was not when handling the Palisades and Alta Dena wildfire

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