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January 9th, 2026

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Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Argus Hamilton

By Argus Hamilton

Published Feb. 29, 2024

Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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The New York Post said millions of AT&T customers panicked Thursday when their cell phones went out. AT&T screwed up a software update which blacked out service, infuriated customers and made the carrier look hapless. If nothing else it explains why the Dallas Cowboys play at AT&T Stadium.

Oppenheimer won Best Picture at the SAG Awards at the Shrine Auditorium in L.A. Sunday. You can spot the Baby Boomers in the movie theater whose dads fought in the Pacific. I saw Oppenheimer in Westwood, and I felt a little embarrassed when nobody joined my USA! chant when the bomb worked.

The New York Post says New York parents are arranging play dates for their young-adult Generation Z children. We Baby Boomers certainly did NOT have arranged play dates when we were kids. Our parents locked us out of the house until dark and the weakest among us ended up on Unsolved Mysteries.

President Biden hosted a conference of the nation's governors at the White House on Saturday where he hinted he might soon tighten up his border policy. A recent nationwide poll asked Americans the question if the border is too wide open. Sixty percent said yes, ad forty percent replied no comprende.

Joe Biden and Trump last week gave each other nicknames they hope will go viral like Crooked Joe and Donald Hoover Trump. Now there's one label they could share. If one person calls you a horse's ass you can disregard it but if half the nation calls you a horse's ass you need to go find a saddle.

Forbes says investors are rushing into psychedelic drug businesses after psychedelics were FDA approved for depression. It's long been a favorite cure in L.A. China could drop a nuclear bomb on Los Angeles and six people might die while everyone else goes running toward the blast to eat the mushroom.

The Los Angeles Times reported an alarming increase in the number of top restaurants closing in Southern California. Malibu once had six top-notch restaurants open along the beach and now there's only a Denny's. And hell, Denny's is just a Waffle House for people who don't know how to fight.

House Democrat James Clyburn defended Joe Biden against mainstream media assessments he is too feeble. It's all you hear now. When Biden first became president, his legislative agenda was compared to FDR's, and three years later Joe's ability to walk up a flight of stairs is compared to FDR's.

The National Archives says Joe Biden's great-great grandfather Moses Robinette was pardoned by President Lincoln in 1864 for attempted murder. He was a veterinarian for the Union Army who was attacked by another Yankee with a knife. Ten bucks says the attacker's name is Corporal Corn Popp.

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