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• Donald Trump followed up on his claim Saturday that people have always told him that he looks like Elvis. He posted a split photo of half his face next to half of Elvis's. Not to be outdone, Joe Biden, always trying to court black voters, countered by claiming people always told him he looks like Al Jolson.
• The White House was ripped by House Republicans for allowing the border invasion and giving government benefits to migrants. It makes sense from the president's point of view. It's a truism that if you teach a man a fish he'll eat for life, but if you give a man someone else's fish, he'll vote for Biden.
• President Biden swept to victory in the South Carolina Democratic primary held Saturday, where Joe really needed the publicity boost to jump-start his flagging presidential campaign. There's growing concern. On Groundhog Day, Joe Biden went outside, saw his shadow, and tried to shake hands with it.
• President Biden spent last weekend in L.A. and Las Vegas hosting fundraisers and made news by refusing to be interviewed before the Super Bowl. By his latest move in Texas, he may be opening the flood gates to millions more illegal aliens. Joe just sent the Dallas Cowboys' defense to guard the border.
• The Grammy Awards were held in a driving rainstorm Sunday at the Crypto Arena in downtown Los Angeles and drew rave reviews for focusing on music. There was one distraction. The cameras kept cutting away to Travis Kelce sitting in the balcony cheering for Taylor Swift to score a Best Album.
• Ben Affleck admitted his slave-owning ancestor uncovered when he went on PBS Finding Your Roots. When he first learned of it while taping the show, he demanded that the producers cover it up. The one thing people don't like about Ben is the way he walks around acting like he owns everybody.
• The Weather Channel reported the Pineapple Express heralds the return of the every-nine-year El Nino assault on the West Coast. I swear, sometimes it feels like Democrats operate on automatic pilot. Governor Newsom just issued a statement declaring every Nino and Nina is welcome in California.
• The Pineapple Express walloped Southern California on Sunday bringing heavy rainstorms and mudslides. Volunteers drove fifteen miles out to Malibu to knock on doors and warn Malibu residents of the risk of flooding. People in L.A. will trudge through mud, rain and hail to meet a director.
• Politico reports the Biden campaign will try to liken Joe to FDR for his transforming legislation and policies. They'll both be long remembered for their nation-assuring quotes. In 1933 FDR said we have nothing to fear but fear itself, and today Joe Biden says if I lose my train of thought, that's my style.
• Governor Greg Abbott ordered more razor wire set out to stop illegal aliens from entering Texas, defying a Supreme Court ruling. It works. It's the same concertina wire the Democrats have placed around the U.S. Capitol and so far not one illegal migrant has made it into the Capitol without Janitor ID.
• The Senate negotiated a border security bill that includes aid to Israel and Ukraine but it allows for 5,000 illegal entries a day, and so the House will kill it. Its unpopularity in Congress makes perfect sense. I don't know a congressman with any self-respect who'll get out of bed for less than 5,000 a day.
• Houthis fired a cruise missile intending to blow a hole in a U.S. ship in support of the Palestinians Friday but narrowly missed. The Pro Palestinian protestors can't touch me. Whenever I'm asked to take sides in world conflicts, I always side with the Swiss, because the only thing they blow holes in is cheese.
• King Charles was the recipient of get-well wishes and prayers throughout the world on news he had contracted cancer. Charles is nominally head of the Church of England, which gave birth to the Episcopal and Methodist Churches in the United States. Cancer is often genetic so at least Harry is safe.
• The Super Bowl will air on CBS Sunday and the media frenzy surrounding the celebrity pairing of Taylor and Travis could help produce the highest TV ratings in Super Bowl history. Travis Kelce dates Taylor Swift and he endorses Pfizer's Covid vaccine. Either way he's going to get his heart broken.
• The Weather Channel reported that El Nino's dreaded Pineapple Express roared into Southern California Sunday, drenching L.A. in 7 inches of rain. The Grammy Awards were a complete mess. The interviews on the red carpet outside spoiled everyone's fun for the night because the cocaine got wet.
• The Daily Oklahoman reported a 5.1 earthquake rocked the Sooner State Friday. Earthquakes have just been declared the number-one reason for people losing their mobile homes in Oklahoma. Divorce, tornadoes and cheating Indians out of them have moved down to second, third and fourth place.
• The New York Post reported on the huge number of journalists being laid off at the New York Times, the L.A. Times and the Washington Post. This year's White House Correspondents Dinner is expecting a record number of reporters in attendance. They'll be parking cars and clearing the tables.
• Denny's in Oakland closed permanently last week due to the street crime plaguing Oakland neighborhoods. Flash mobs in L.A. made it all the way out to the West San Fernando Valley to plunder Nordstrom's. The getaway driver put a mannequin in his passenger seat and took the carpool lane back to South Central.
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