Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Tiger Woods played well over the weekend in the Los Angeles Open sponsored by Genesis, the parent company of Hyundai. It was a challenge for the legendary golfer. The difference between a golf ball and a Hyundai is that Tiger Woods can drive the golf ball three hundred yards without hitting a tree.

• The PGA Tour heads for its Florida swing this week at the Honda Classic at the PGA National Course in Palm Gardens. You don't want to wade into water hazards in Florida to retrieve your ball. Last week Nat Geo aired video of an alligator high-fiving a turtle and I know a drug deal when I see one.

• President Biden underwent his physical on Thursday and the doctor says he's in excellent health and able to execute his duties as president. Fortunately he doesn't need a heart stent. During the exam, the doctor floated the idea of performing a balloon angioplasty but Biden shot it down out of habit.

• Petroleum Journal reports new federal regulations reduced U.S. oil production by twenty percent from three years ago. The good news is, the engineers at General Motors say they've just created a car that runs on water. The water comes in three grades, Camp LeJeune, Flint and East Palestine, Ohio.

• Don Lemon apologized Friday for telling CNN viewers that GOP presidential candidate Nikki Haley is past her prime as a woman at age 51. He insisted on-air that he looked up on Google himself. Don Lemon is such a train wreck Pete Buttigieg is blaming him on the Trump Administration.

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• Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg said East Palestine won't receive FEMA money because Norfolk Southern Railroad agreed to pay toxic damages. He's playing it by the book. Pete Buttigieg appeared on a video call Saturday and promised to investigate the chemical spill for any signs of racism.

• Mike Pence vowed to fight a subpoena by Trump's Special Counsel investigating the January 6th U.S. Capitol invasion and Trump's culpability for it. Both political parties provide the entertainment. The FBI raided Hillary's house in Chappaqua and walked out with a box full of classified suicide notes.

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