Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

The White House was slammed by Republicans and Democratic hawks Friday for permitting the first Chinese spy balloon to make it to South Carolina before shooing it down. However by Sunday President Biden shot his fourth balloon. One more and Biden gets any stuffed animal from the top shelf.

• U.S. Navy Seals retrieved most of the Chinese spy balloon from the ocean Friday. It traveled across America along the Jet Stream but it was maneuverable to allow it to alter its course and take photos over secret locales. The balloon didn’t fly over Washington, D.C., because there’s no intelligence to gather there.

• White House spokesman John Kirby offhandedly revealed that a second approaching object was quickly shot down out of the sky over Alaska Friday. And it was shot down for good reason. The Pentagon said it was shaped like a Corvette and we all know how Corvettes attract classified documents.

• China insisted Thursday that the U.S. return its spy balloon that President Biden shot down along with all its espionage equipment. They’re just getting to know us. If the Chinese are as smart as their test scores, next time they’ll send over a black balloon that the U.S. would deem too controversial to shoot.

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• The Super Bowl between the Philadelphia Eagles and Kansas City Chiefs drew huge TV ratings for Fox on Sunday. The pregame patriotic show contained its own death-defying drama. Everyone I know tuned in early to see if President Biden would get confused and shoot down the Goodyear Blimp.

• ABC News’ poll said the two likely 2024 candidates are Biden and Trump, but also that most of their own party wants to dump them. Their fervent base support is negated by their over-exposed faults. Can we just admit that we took this anyone-can-grow-up-to-be-president thing just a bit too far?

• The PGA Tour Phoenix Waste Management Open made news Friday as a streaker stole the show at the amphitheater Par-3 16th hole before fifteen thousand jeering fans. He was arrested after he streaked across the green and leaped naked into the water hazard. I’ll bet he wouldn’t do that in Florida.

(COMMENT, BELOW)