Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

California Governor Gavin Newsom declared last week that mandating equity in business hiring will be a goal of his administration. For instance, recently I went to eat at Denny's and asked for a BLT. It took a while but eventually a bisexual, a lesbian and a trans-gender showed up to take my order.

• Jay Leno got a standing ovation Sunday after he crashed and fell off his motorcycle a month after he caught fire while working under his car. Jay is now watched more closely than a Pennsylvania groundhog when walks onstage. If he falls down the steps everyone will know he's running for president.

• NFL legend Tom Brady announced he's retiring from football Tuesday. The next day rock music legend Ozzy Osbourne announced he's retiring from touring. I don't want to say the economy is bad but this morning the FBI raided the houses of Tom Brady and Ozzy Osbourne and found classified ads.

• Hunter's lawyer asked the Justice Department to arrest the repair guy who gave his laptop to the FBI in October 2020. The content wound up in the New York Post and was falsely dismissed by the establishment as Russia disinformation. So now we're backing Ukraine against Russia for not interfering in our elections.

• The FBI searched Joe Biden's beach house and found no classified documents Friday. I'm sure he keeps some papers stashed in his Oval Office safe. The latest survey shows President Biden has a great chance of being re-elected in 2024 as long as he continues to refuse to release his death certificate.

• Australia's central bank announced King Charles's portrait will not appear on their currency and asked the public for suggestions which reflect the culture and history of Australians. I see them as literally a flip side of the U.S. Australia started out as a prison colony while America has evolved into one.

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• Tom Brady showed up for the premiere of the movie Eighty for Brady at the Palm Springs Film Festival Saturday before announcing his retirement. He's retired more times than the McRib. Tom is at that awkward age where he is too old to play quarterback and fifty years too young to be president.

• New York City Mayor Eric Adams failed to get illegal migrants to leave their luxury hotel Wednesday and they even demanded to live in Central Park West townhouses owned by billionaires. They're messing up their asylum claims. They're supposed to be fleeing communism, not bringing it here in their backpacks.

• New York Attorney General Letitia James was assured by a judge Tuesday her $250 million suit against Trump trying to ban him from doing business in New York will proceed in October. I think the Democrats should just give up and put Trump on a postage stamp. They'll have him behind bars at last.

• New York's governor Kathy Hochul doubled down against critics of cashless bail and the soaring crime that's being committed by repeat offenders in New York City. They get out of jail hours after they commit felonies. Due to changing times, NBC is changing the name of Law & Order to Catch & Release.

• FBI agents entered President Biden's beach house in Delaware Wednesday looking for classified documents and came away empty handed. There is more good news for the president. During his last physical at Walter Reed Hospital the doctors ran a brain scan on Biden and they also found nothing.

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