Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

GET ARGUS' DAILY SMILES TO YOUR INBOX. SIGN UP FOR THE JWR UPDATE. IT'S FREE. Just click here.

• The Washington Post says the Democratic National Committee is planning a spring fundraiser in Washington, D.C. starring three Democratic presidents. I want to see that. Imagine seeing on one stage standing together Joe Biden, Barack Obama and Bill Clinton — Hear No Evil, See No Evil and Evil.

• The San Francisco 49ers and KC Chiefs made it to the Super Bowl after winning two thrilling conference title games. No sour grapes here. I'm a Dallas Cowboys fan and I admit I watched two great games Sunday, but I've got to say I thought Wheel of Fortune was better than The Price is Right.

• Los Angeles was rated the sixth most congested traffic in America Monday, behind New York, Chicago, Philadelphia, Boston and Miami. I have a bumper sticker on the back of my Cadillac that reads Honk If You Think I'm Sexy. Sometimes, I just sit at a green light until I feel better about myself.

• The Hollywood Reporter noted Monday that Jodie Foster is getting rave reviews as this year's star in HBO's True Detective. She burst into stardom as a kid 35 years ago in Taxi Driver. Jodie Foster is certain to be garnering a whole new generation of fans, which must terrify the Reagan family.

• The White House reacted angrily to an attack by Iran backed militants in the Middle East who launched a drone attack on a U.S. base in northeastern Jordan that killed three U.S. service personnel. It may be time to saddle up. The Weather Channel just reported the five-day forecast for Iran is two days.

• The Washington Examiner published a story about President Biden's 2024 re-election strategy which included campaign aides approaching Taylor Swift for her support. I can see how endorsing Biden benefits her career. At the very least Taylor ends up with a new song about her poor taste in men.

• CBS News says a huge convoy of big rig truckers supporting Texas that calls itself G od's Army is driving across the South to help Texas with the invasion of migrants. They call themselves G od's Army for a good reason. The illegals will still come but they'll be given the option of baptism in the river.

• IRS contractor Charles Littlejohn got five years in prison for leaking Trump's tax records. He also leaked Jeff Bezos's tax returns, he leaked Elon Musk's tax returns and he leaked thousands more. Leaker Littlejohn will be okay in prison as long as a Baby Boomer doesn't kill him for his prostate gland.

• The L.A. County Department of Health announced it will provide emergency first aid training to restaurant workers to teach them to rescue diners who are choking on their food. I remember back in colleges, I would dislodge food stuck in my throat by chugging a bottle of beer. It's called the Heineken maneuver.

• The Council on Foreign Relations warned that political violence could erupt as the campaigns heat up in 2024 and conspiracy theories evolve. If I may give some unsolicited advice to both sides of the partisan divide this election year, my advice is this. Relax, we're ALL crazy, this isn't a competition.

(COMMENT, BELOW)