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• The New York Post quoted a survey of funeral directors who say Baby Boomers are planning to have funerals that are happy celebrations of their lives rather than sadness and loss. Not me. When I die, I'd like the pallbearers at my funeral to be Dallas Cowboys so they can let me down one more time. The Kansas City Chiefs won Sunday to reach the AFC Championship game next weekend. The ratings were huge at forty million. However young women were upset at TV cameras for interrupting the Taylor Swift broadcast to show a bunch of big, grown men crashing into each other every thirty seconds.
• Hugh Hefner's widow Crystal wrote in her book that parties at the Playboy Mansion included a little dog who'd got hooked on cocaine off the floor. The dog jumped all over guests and tried to lick any body cavity containing traces of cocaine. The dog liked it, the guests liked it, who's the victim here?
• New Hampshire Democrats got mixed signals over whether to write in Joe Biden's name on the ballot or vote Nikki Haley. Democrats were deluged by AI-generated robo-calls from Joe Biden telling them not to vote at all. The first clue that it might be a fake call was that the president sounded coherent.
• President Biden admitted Friday the migrant invasion at the southern border has reached crisis level and blamed it on Republicans. It's an arguable point. History may well record that the United States became racially diverse because Republicans got tired of the Japanese doing all their landscaping.
• MIT ran a cost-benefit analysis of the practicality of a business using Artificial Intelligence in day-to-day operations and said humans are still cheaper at this point. It's being warily monitored by Congress. AI will be allowed to function until it convinces people that term limits are our only salvation.
• The Wall Street Journal reported that Sports Illustrated laid off almost all the staff after failing to make a debt payment to the ownership group. The magazine is about to die. I guess teenage boys will now have to go to the library to see pictures of overweight men dressed in women's swimsuits.
• The Supreme Court upheld a conviction of Hunter Biden's business partner Devon Archer for fraudulently issuing an Indian tribe sixty million dollars in worthless bonds. He was sentenced to a year in jail for the sixty million dollar haul. I hope this teaches kids everywhere that crime doesn't pay.
• The Nation claimed the American electorate was sliding back into its racist past in presidential politics this year. However I've seen the office of U.S. president open up in my own lifetime. In 1960 we elected our first Catholic president, in 2008 our first black president and in 2020 our first dead president.
• Oklahoma City risks losing the Women's College World Series if a pending state bill passes that bans transgenders from women's sports. The NCAA requires transgenders be allowed on women's softball teams. I can remember watching the girls' teams play when there was only one ball on the field.
• Daily Variety noted the death of screenwriter Norma Barzman, the last surviving member of the Hollywood blacklist, who died this week at the age of 103. She was blackballed by the studios in 1947 for being a communist. Ironically today you can be blackballed by the studios for not being a communist.
• Beverly Hills residents were banned by a judge's order from remodeling their kitchens because it has no affordable housing. As I learned in the 1970s watching Pauly Shore grow up, living there is no picnic for kids. Do you know what it's like to grow up in a home where you have to dial 9 to get out?
• L.A. Dodgers legend Steve Garvey announced he's running for U.S. Senate in California. After he was traded to San Diego, Garvey was accused in 1989 of impregnating two women and not taking responsibility. Watch for campaign bumper stickers in San Diego that say Steve Garvey Is Not My Padre.
• The New Hampshire Primary was held Tuesday, giving voters greater clarity in the 2024 race for the presidency. It looks like a mix of Disney cartoons. In New Hampshire Tuesday, Mira the Royal Detective lost to Donald in his mission to remove Sleepy from the White House along with his son Dopey.
• Donald Trump defeated Nikki Haley in the New Hampshire primary Tuesday, nearing a lock on the GOP nomination. Next is South Carolina where he has a huge lead over her, and then the Big South, the bedrock of his support. Nikki Haley has a better chance of being elected president of 7-Eleven.
• The U.S. and UK launched more strikes against Houthi missile bases in Yemen for their attacks on commercial shipping at the Horn of Africa. It's re-routing Asian trade that flows into the Red Sea to the Suez Canal. Joe Biden vowed to destroy Hootie and the Blowfish for their attacks on cargo ships.
• Senator George Fetterman warned the border invasion could ruin the American way of life. His recovery from his stroke is alarming progressives. He's now articulating bipartisan opposition to the border invasion, while a year ago his campaign speech was Mongo just a pawn in the game of life.
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