Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• The New York Post quoted a survey of funeral directors who say Baby Boomers are planning to have funerals that are happy celebrations of their lives rather than sadness and loss. Not me. When I die, I'd like the pallbearers at my funeral to be Dallas Cowboys so they can let me down one more time.

• The Kansas City Chiefs won Sunday to reach the AFC Championship game next weekend. The ratings were huge at forty million. However young women were upset at TV cameras for interrupting the Taylor Swift broadcast to show a bunch of big, grown men crashing into each other every thirty seconds.

• Hugh Hefner's widow Crystal wrote in her book that parties at the Playboy Mansion included a little dog who'd got hooked on cocaine off the floor. The dog jumped all over guests and tried to lick any body cavity containing traces of cocaine. The dog liked it, the guests liked it, who's the victim here?

• New Hampshire Democrats got mixed signals over whether to write in Joe Biden's name on the ballot or vote Nikki Haley. Democrats were deluged by AI-generated robo-calls from Joe Biden telling them not to vote at all. The first clue that it might be a fake call was that the president sounded coherent.

• President Biden admitted Friday the migrant invasion at the southern border has reached crisis level and blamed it on Republicans. It's an arguable point. History may well record that the United States became racially diverse because Republicans got tired of the Japanese doing all their landscaping.

• MIT ran a cost-benefit analysis of the practicality of a business using Artificial Intelligence in day-to-day operations and said humans are still cheaper at this point. It's being warily monitored by Congress. AI will be allowed to function until it convinces people that term limits are our only salvation.

• The Wall Street Journal reported that Sports Illustrated laid off almost all the staff after failing to make a debt payment to the ownership group. The magazine is about to die. I guess teenage boys will now have to go to the library to see pictures of overweight men dressed in women's swimsuits.

• The Supreme Court upheld a conviction of Hunter Biden's business partner Devon Archer for fraudulently issuing an Indian tribe sixty million dollars in worthless bonds. He was sentenced to a year in jail for the sixty million dollar haul. I hope this teaches kids everywhere that crime doesn't pay.

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