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ABC's Women of the View turned their fury on the Iowa GOP Caucus results Tuesday, taking turns demonizing Iowa voters for giving Donald Trump a landslide victory. They're like this every day. It's a sign of our times that the three angriest women in America are named Whoopi, Sunny and Joy.
• Politico noted that MSNBC's Rachel Maddow refused to air Donald Trump's victory speech in Iowa. CNN's Jake Tapper refused to air it on CNN, saying his speech would be anti-immigrant. Last night I told Alexa to turn on CNN I want to hear the news and Alexa said I have to pick one or the other.
• President Biden upped the tensions in the Middle East by ordering U.S. attacks on Houthi rocket launchers in Yemen last week. It's a little unnerving to have an 81-year-old man with diminished capacity walking around the war room with his finger on the button, and by button I mean his Life Alert.
• Variety says the Emmy Awards drew an all-time low rating of four million viewers. Hollywood is furious that their Emmy speeches got killed in the TV ratings by Tampa Bay's win in the Monday Night Football playoff game. Democrats just declared that Baker Mayfield is a threat to our Democracy.
• Hollywood star Mark Wahlberg disclosed his family is very happy living in Las Vegas after they moved out of California. The progressive culture is now attacking tackle football. If lawmakers in Sacramento prevail, California grade school boys can't play ball, but they can cut them off.
• California lawmakers were set to vote on a bill to ban tackle football for kids under the age of twelve. Democrats fear that tackle football from the age of five to twelve can cause brain damage in some kids. In related news, Gary Busey is offering motorcycle driving lessons for 6th graders.
• The GOP candidates pulled up stakes in Iowa and headed immediately for New Hampshire on Tuesday. The state is nothing if not a little quirky. New Hampshire is the state where hundreds of prison inmates sit at the stamping press all day hammering out license plates that read Live Free or Die.
• Donald Trump took command of the GOP contest with a landslide victory in the Iowa caucuses on Monday. At the very least, it thinned out the herd. Arkansas former governor Asa Hutchinson dropped out of the race after he finished with .6 % of the vote, tied with the alcoholic content of O'Doul's.
• Donald Trump carried fifty-five percent of the Christian evangelical vote in Iowa Monday and Democratic pollsters point out it's a different story in New Hampshire. They say it's a state where one-third of the voters describe themselves as non-affiliated with religion. That's a lot of Episcopalians.
• The Beverly Hills Hotel unveiled its own brand of gourmet cookies at a press conference in the Polo Lounge Monday which will feature the Beverly Hills Hotel's famed logo on each package of cookies. Each package of cookies will sell for one hundred and twenty dollars. Girl Scout sold separately.
• Donald Trump attended the penalty hearing in New York of the lawsuit he lost to E. Jean Carroll, who says he sexually assaulted her in 1996 in a Bergdorf Goodman fitting room. He denies her charge. The award total depends on which one the jury believes, an old bleached blonde with flabby boobs, or E. Jean Carroll?
• The White House staff was evacuated last weekend when pro-Palestinian protestors shook the security fences. They get more attention back East. Over the weekend, pro-Palestinian protestors blocked all the lanes on the Hollywood Freeway again, and no one noticed any difference in the traffic.
• Dallas Cowboy fans called for the firing of coach Mike McCarthy after the team failed to make it past the first round of playoffs. It was all to no avail. Jerry Jones announced Thursday that he’s keeping Mike McCarthy as coach, possibly indicating that Mike McCarthy has seen the Epstein client list.
• New England Patriots introduced its first black head Coach Jerrod Mayo to the media Tuesday and he ignited controversy by saying if you don’t see color you can’t see racism. I can understand how sensitive he might be about issues that involve color. Imagine growing up black and your name is Mayo.
• The Weather Channel reported record lows in the Upper Midwest and in the Great Lakes states and snowstorms in the South. There is a bright side to the blizzards and ice storms this particular year. Winter reminds Americans that snow is the only thing that settles here that doesn’t claim benefits.
• New York Democratic Congressman Jamaal Bowman Wednesday proposed a fourteen-trillion-dollar slavery reparations package for African Americans. The problem is, it would motivate other aggrieved groups to jump on the gravy train. For instance, if you voted for Biden you owe me gas money.
• Joe Biden met lawmakers to try to get more billions for Ukraine. The policy is the insane belief that Russia will give back Russian land that Khruschev gave Ukraine in the 1950s, and that Ukraine is going to defeat Russia. If you brought this fairy tale to Disney, they’d laugh you out of the pitch meeting.
• The New York Post reports that this week, global elites are taking hundreds of private jets and limousines to Austria to talk about how to use less energy in order to save the planet. It gets better. Tonight Chris Christie and John Daly are meeting at the Golden Corral to discuss ways to battle obesity.
• Justice Department Special Counsel David Weiss told the judge in Hunter Biden’s gun charge trial Tuesday that federal investigators had discovered cocaine inside the leather pouch where Hunter was storing his handgun. Do you know what cocaine on a gun makes you do? You shoot your mouth off.
• California this week became the first state in the country to extend free state health care coverage to illegal immigrants by making them eligible for Medi-Cal benefits. I don’t think it’ll cost the taxpayers a penny. Anybody who can walk all the way here from Venezuela is as healthy as a horse
• The World Economic Forum got under way in Davos, Switzerland, Thursday where thousands of progressive billionaires and politicians pretend they’re the cultural elite. Progressives wouldn’t miss the opening day ceremony for all the tea in China. Next to January 6th, it’s their favorite day of the year.
• The White House was hit by an ABC News poll Monday which showed that President Biden’s job approval rating has sunk to an all-time low of thirty-three percent. Every time he makes a televised speech it gets worse. Joe’s poll numbers are so low that Hunter is tempted to get a job on his own merits.
• The New York Post said Bill Clinton would be identified as John Doe 36 in Epstein documents plus the 26 times he was logged flying aboard Epstein’s Lolita Express plane. No one doubts that Bill Clinton traveled to Pedophile Island. What nobody can figure out is, how did they ever get him to leave?
• Prince William’s wife and father being in the hospital, leaving him free as a bird, reminds me of when I was thirty, and the day my girlfriend few off to Paris on a 2-week vacation without me because I’d broken a promise to stop partying. It led to a spiritual experience. An hour after her plane left for Paris a $5,000 IRS refund check arrived in the mail and I have never doubted the existence of the Lord since.
• Donald Trump addressed a crowd in New Hampshire Tuesday accompanied onstage by his new supporter Vivek Ramaswamy. After the Iowa caucus results Vivek withdrew from the race and endorsed Trump for president. In return, Trump promised to name Vivek Ramaswamy the Secretary of 7-Elevens.
• NBC says the Texas Nationalist Movement presented 140,000 signatures in an attempt to push Texas independence. It was really two states when I was a kid. My SMU alum father always told me an atheist is any Texan who watches Southern Methodist play Baylor Baptist and doesn’t care who wins.
• Review Scout rated Dynamic Brain the best supplement pill to increase brain focus as well as memory. I’m exhibit A. At Mel’s Diner on the Sunset Strip last week, I tried to give a really cute waitress my number by writing it on my credit card slip, and it turned out I tipped her $132,355,562.25.
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