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May 20th, 2024

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Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Argus Hamilton

By Argus Hamilton

Published Jan. 17, 2024

Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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Business Insider says today's college graduates will change jobs twelve times by the time they're thirty in search of their career. The best advice I can give is never lose heart, keep moving forward and trust your guiding star. As they say at Alaska Airlines, when one door closes, another door flies open.

Alaska Airlines canceled flights on Boeing 737s as they investigate a midair incident last week causing an emergency landing in Portland. No one questions their commitment to safety. Alaska Airlines will offer free tickets to obese passengers, as long as they agree to sit next to the emergency door.

USA Today reported that the new etiquette for calling somebody is to text them first and see if they have the time available to talk to you on the phone. It's always awkward ending telephone calls with my loved ones. For instance I always say I love you, and they say, thank you for choosing Pizza Hut.

CBS News warns that America's aging population will result in huge health care costs the next decade. In other words, here come the Baby Boomers. I can tell you the exact date the Normans crossed the English Channel to invade England in 1066, but I can't remember why I just walked into the kitchen.

New Jersey ex-governor Chris Christie withdrew from the GOP presidential race Wednesday at a New Hampshire town hall. Chris Christie is a good man to have on your side unless you're on a life raft. He would have been the first president to get stuck in the White House Bathtub since William Howard Taft.

The Daily Mail reported that Jeffrey Epstein kept his Caribbean getaway island stocked with not only underage girls but also boys. I must say I was absolutely shocked when the documents uncovered that Michael Jackson was one of the visitors to Pedophile Island. You think you know a guy.

Hunter Biden crashed a House committee weighing contempt charges against him Wednesday where he sat on the front row of the hearing room next to his attorney. He was denounced by GOP committee members to his face until he walked out. I almost didn't recognize Hunter with his clothes on.

The Los Angeles Times noted that some Long Beach residents are offended by a Popeye's fast food restaurant in Long Beach which serves its customers from behind bullet-proof windows. It complies with the state laws. Equity is ensuring that rich and poor alike can enjoy Pheasant under Glass.

Disney, Warner Brothers and Netflix drew fire from the left for firing their DEI executives who enforce racial diversity in movie casting. The diversity, equity and inclusion requirements have made dozens of movies unwatchable. For instance, I was just cast in the lead role of the re-make of Mandingo.

French President Macron appointed 34-year-old ally Gabriel Attal as the government's prime minister. He's the youngest in history and first openly gay. The French believe in liberty, equality and fraternity, and furthermore they believe that using ketchup on your steak should affect your credit score.

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