Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Supermarket News reports shortages of tinned fish, and lettuce, dwindling beef supplies, and even a champagne shortage, along with the egg shortage causing poultry products to skyrocket. I finally heard on the news why we're having an egg shortage. Apparently the hens are now identifying as roosters.

• Vegan News says the increased sales of meat-substitutes hint that eating vegan has never been easier or trendier, adding there are one million vegans in Canada. At the grocery store Saturday. I walked past a display offering gluten-free plant-based potatoes. This is why aliens fly straight past us.

• Safe Wise website reports the Paul Pelosi attack video Friday triggered widespread homeowner interest in home security systems and home safes. I look to my president for advice and example. I'd feel so stupid buying a safe to store my cash and valuables when I have a perfectly good two-car garage.

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• The National Archives sent letters to six former presidents asking them if they have any classified documents at home or in their libraries. The request drew no response from Ronald Reagan or George H.W. Bush. However Jimmy Carter tearfully confessed he has classified documents in his heart.

• Jeffrey Epstein's convicted pimp Ghislaine Maxwell was interviewed in jail Friday as she awaits appeal of her guilty verdict. Federal authorities seized her roster of powerful politicians for whom she arranged sex with underage teenage girls. Her client list is the only secure document in Washington.

• Germany announced it's sending Leopard battle tanks to Ukraine, prompting the U.S. to agree to send Abrams tanks joined by British Challenger II tanks now headed for action. It gets better. France agreed to supply Ukraine with French Army tanks and they're the only ones equipped with backup lights.

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