Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

President Biden told reporters the mislaid documents were safe, locked in his garage next to his Corvette. The next day Fort Knox announced it will relocate all its U.S. gold bars to local area garages. Treasury agents said if it's good enough for classified documents, it's good enough for our gold reserves.

• The Washington Post reported Friday that cashless bail policies are resulting in crime sprees in major U.S. cities. They are booked into jail then they book right back out. Last night I deduced it no longer pays to bother catching fugitive criminals while I was watching Dog the Aluminum Can Hunter.

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• History Channel's holiday marathon included a biography of Age of Enlightenment physicist Sir Isaac Newton, England's pioneering genius who made groundbreaking discoveries in physics, in chemistry and in astronomy. Sir Isaac Newton discovered gravity in 1687. Before that, people could fly.

• Monica Lewinsky marked the 25th anniversary of her Bill Clinton affair in Vanity Fair. Every day Bill was president he was hounded by the Republicans over his sexual misadventures. Bill Clinton will go down in history as the only white Southerner ever to move to Harlem for his own personal safety.

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