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• The Weather Channel reported tornadoes slammed into the Deep South Thursday. The sight of a tornado is mesmerizing. If you have visitors from up North who never saw one, you'll often see them with their faces pressed against the living room window, and after a good scare, you let them back inside.
• Attorney General Merrick Garland named a Special Counsel to investigate classified documents stored in Biden's garage and his China funded policy center. Some of Biden's stuff apparently got mixed up with other Chinese stuff. On the paper's back side of my fortune cookie are our nuclear codes.
• The White House stonewalled classified document questions Thursday drawing glee from House Republicans. Three House committee chairmen vowed to investigate. On a side note, Congressman George Santos says he does NOT think his Golden Globes monologue was as bad as everyone says it was.
• President Biden's documents scandal was first revealed by CNN and NBC News last week, not by conservative outlets. I sense a woke purge of old white men. I don't want to say his own party wants to take him down but if President Biden were a statue, he'd be sitting on a horse in a Confederate uniform.
• ABC's Women of the View on Thursday hypothesized that the classified documents found in Joe Biden's garage had been planted there by Trump supporters. There were funnier reactions than that. Kamala Harris may have jumped the gun by announcing she'll run for re-election as president in 2024.
• President Biden told reporters he had no idea that classified documents were stored in his garage, met by a chorus of partisan disbelief. He can't catch a break. For fifty years everyone in Washington said Biden doesn't know anything, but now that he admits he didn't know anything, nobody believes him.
• President Biden admitted Thursday there were classified documents at his house in Delaware. It follows the classified documents found at Trump's house. We should have known we'd start seeing a flood of classified documents in this country after Kamala Harris was named Classified Documents Czar.
• The White House denied that President Biden's private storage of classified secrets made it easy for Chinese spies. They already know almost everything there is to know in America. If China ever finally gets ahold of The Colonel's secret blend of eleven herbs and spices, their work will be done here.
• ABC's Women of the View speculated Thursday that Republicans or Trump supporters may have planted the classified documents in Biden's home. What on earth is the big deal? The Chinese have known for two years that Joe Biden's secret code numbers to launch a nuclear attack are 1967-Corvette.
• President Biden went under investigation beginning Tuesday after it was revealed that Top Secret classified papers were found inside Joe's think tank office. It's located at the Penn-Biden Center in Washington, D.C. It's a six-story building, but in Joe's honor the elevator doesn't go all the way to the top.
• The White House sent Patriot missiles to Ukraine, turning a ground war into a missile duel. We're escalating someone else's war, thinking it won't backfire, as it does every time. It should be drilled into the heads of U.S. foreign policymakers that Boomerangs and Attention Deficit Disorder do not mix.
• Prince Harry followed up on his Oprah interview Sunday with an interview on CBS 60 Minutes in which he spilled Royal Family business to try to sell his memoir. To look after your car, try Prince Harry Car Insurance. Your no-claims bonus will be guaranteed because it's always someone else's fault.
• Ukraine President Zelinsky made a video appearance at the Golden Globes Awards Tuesday at the Beverly Hilton. It was a plea for emergency repairs. Host Jerrod Carmichael's opening monologue bombed so badly they had to get Zelinsky to make an appeal to Congress to help rebuild the Beverly Hilton.
• The Golden Globes aired live from the Beverly Hills Tuesday and from start to finish was the worst and most classless awards show ever televised. It was the only awards show I ever heckled from my living room. This year's Golden Globes did not air an In Memoriam segment out of respect for the de
• ad. JP Morgan CEO Jamie Dimond took back his last fall recession prediction for 2023, saying people have lots of spendable cash stored up right now. There are a lot of cash-saving ideas out there. They're selling Harvard t-shirts at WalMart, which sounds like a great way to save four hundred thousand bucks.
• House Republicans called for a Special Counsel to investigate Biden's classified documents found in his think tank office in D.C. The next day, even more classified documents were reportedly found in two of Biden's offices. They're mostly kids' menus from Denny's where he was unable to complete the maze.
• The White House Press Secretary said President Biden had no idea classified secret documents were stored hidden in his two private offices. We learn more each day. Apparently one of the secret documents that Biden kept hidden was the instructions on how to run the Department of Transportation.
• Kevin McCarthy kicked Eric Swalwell and Adam Schiff off the House Intelligence Committee. It won't be easy for House Democrats to adjust to minority status. Nancy Pelosi turned down the post of Minority Whip in the House, saying it sounds like something her husband would enjoy more than her.
• Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg faced more travel chaos Wednesday as every airline flight in America had to be canceled due to a computer shutdown. Hundreds of thousands of travelers were stuck in airport lounges. It gave CNN their most number of viewers since the 1991 Bombing of Baghdad.
• Pete Buttiegieg struggled to explain the third major air travel shutdown on his watch going back to last Memorial Day. He denied any blame. It seems pointless for Americans to blame the air travel shutdown on the FAA when the cause was so obviously trans-phobia, climate change and racist runways.
• Kevin McCarthy said he won't force compulsive liar GOP Member George Santos to resign. This illustrates the circus Washington has become. Senator Al Franken was forced to resign for a photo that was obviously a joke as George Santos is being allowed to stay despite the fact that he's obviously a joke.
• The House Oversight Committee began investigating Hunter Biden for overseas family graft and his self-admitted foreign money kickbacks to the Big Guy. The same day, Trump's accountant went to prison for five months. Richard Nixon once said I am not a crook, and he wasn't by today's standards.
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