Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Fox News reports retail stores lost one hundred billion dollars to shoplifting last year. They aired security video that showed looters at a Best Buy carrying off new flat-screen TVs. By joking about them, I don't want to be canceled, so just to be clear I have no problems with the LG HDTV Community.

• The Department of Transportation announced that a record number of Americans traveled by air between Thanksgiving and New Year's. It's not over for me. I just bought a ticket to fly to Arizona on Southwest Airlines on January 5th, or the 6th or the 7th, I don't know, it's in G od's hands now.

• New Year's Eve featured annual countdown parties in New York, Atlanta and Los Angeles where Americans rejoiced after a week of being stranded at airports. Thousands more flights were canceled by Southwest Airlines. As a result, passengers are demanding an upgrade to Greyhound.

GET ARGUS' DAILY SMILES to your inbox. Sign up for the JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

• Southwest passengers fumed on TV at airport baggage claim areas Friday because their luggage was still piled up at distant hub airports. Many angry passengers ripped the airline and vowed never again to fly Southwest. What do you expect from an airline named after one of the Kardashian children?

• The Southwest CEO came on TV and apologized to stranded passengers and he vowed improvements. For starters, Southwest is switching their boarding passes from reusable plastic to paper. That's so when your flight gets canceled, you can fold up your boarding pass and fly it like an airplane.

• Southwest pilots blamed their outdated operations systems on accountant CEOs. It explains the pre-flight instructions. If you're traveling with two kids, when the oxygen masks come down, select the child with the greatest number of years of tax credit potential and place their oxygen mask on first.

• Michelle Obama confessed to a TV panel there were times in her marriage she couldn't stand her husband Barack Obama. His likeability goes in cycles with people. During a low point in his presidency in 2011, Barack was so unpopular even Kenya was claiming he was born in the United States.

(COMMENT, BELOW)