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Jewish World Review Nov. 12, 2002 / 7 Kislev, 5763

Tony Snow

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Musings | Lately I've been receiving a local high-society magazine. That's sort-of like sending a corporate jet prospectus to a trailer park, but, heck, I took a look: Pages and pages of party pictures -- men in tuxes, women in heart-stopping finery.

I haven't seen anything this exotic and opulent since National Geographic carried a story about King Tut. We're talking alien culture here.

Someone once remarked that Washington is Hollywood for ugly people, and there's some evidence of that. But the magazine also features dozens of lean, happy, prosperous folks I've never seen.

Still, my favorite part is a profile of celebrities and their dogs.

When I saw the spread, I thought: Hey, they could do this with me... I've got two dogs and two cats and four guinea pigs and three young kids and no fish. But then I envisioned the scene: Our two 100-pound dogs flattening the society photographer, coating the poor soul in slobber and hair. Cats join the fun ... then the kids.

No, we're not high-society. But I'll tell you what: If they ever celebrate the Washington version of the Beverly Hillbillies, we're cover material.

Democrats discovered this year that you can't beat something with nothing.

The party of Jefferson bet its future on rage and fear and got nowhere. At a time when Americans are skittish about the economy, Democrats argued that people are ... skittish about the economy.

They had no national plan, other than to wave their arms warning that the GOP was the Great Satan.

Bill Clinton dealt the race card from Florida to New York. Nobody played.

Al Gore talked about searing memories of the Florida recount. Audiences yawned.

The Wellstone memorial turned into a showcase for people so screwed up by politics that they couldn't even stop to share a few bittersweet tales of a very good man.

This is the party of compassion?

Finally, when Democrats needed to replace disgraced or fallen candidates, they turned to two guys who get first seatings each night at Ponderosa: Walter Mondale and Frank Lautenberg.

Yeesh. Party of Methusaleh.

At least Republicans replaced Strom Thurmond with a younger man. Voters figured out all that out -- which helps explain why Republicans won.

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