Jonathan Turley
Hardly the whole truth: Legal myths — The tales would be harmless, except that they're the backdrop for a very real push for tort reform
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Have you heard about the guy who injured himself while using his lawn mower
as a hedge clipper, and then won $500,000 in a lawsuit against the lawn
mower company? How about the woman who threw a soft drink at her boyfriend,
slipped on the wet floor, and then won $100,000 in a lawsuit against the
restaurant? These are only two of the common examples of lawsuit abuses that
are fueling the call for "litigation reform." They are also completely
untrue — part of a growing collection of legal mythologies that are
appearing widely in the national media.
Image is everything in tort reform, such as President Bush's visit earlier
this month to a "judicial hellhole" in Illinois where tort cases supposedly
flourish. He has made tort reform a priority of his second term and is
expected to repeat these calls in his State of the Union address Wednesday.
It is all part of a well-funded campaign to limit damages against companies
and physicians across the country.
Horror stories offered by industry groups play to a weakness in the media
for "you-are-not-going-to-believe-this" stories. Of course, it is not
surprising that the stories are unbelievable — because many never occurred.
Take the ubiquitous hedge-clipper man story. It has appeared in print, on TV
programs, in law school classrooms and in political speeches for decades.
Former vice president Dan Quayle used it in his call for reform (though he
reportedly referred to the man cutting his hair with a lawn mower). In
reality, the story originated in an ad campaign by the insurance firm Crum &
Forester, which later admitted that it knew of no such case. Yet, proving
that facts should never stand in the way of a good story, it remains perhaps
the most cited example of abuse — the best $500,000 that the insurance
industry never paid.
BAD LAWYERING
Even true stories often prove not to be examples of bad law, but bad
lawyering. Take the list of the "wackiest consumer warnings," released this
month by the Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch to show the need for reform.
Included are such things as a warning on a toilet brush that reads, "Do Not
Use for Personal Hygiene" or a sign on a scooter that reads, "This product
moves when used." These are not fabrications, but none of these warnings
make any more legal sense than they do practical sense. No company has to
warn consumers not to use a toilet brush on their teeth or hair.
Legal legends can be irresistible, even for the most respected newspapers,
magazines and networks.
U.S. News & World Report owner Mort Zuckerman used the story of the soft
drink lady in Pennsylvania in an article denouncing lawsuit abuse. He is not
alone. The tale of Amber Carlson and her soda has appeared in countless
television and print sources. Zuckerman also cited the case of a woman who
knocked her teeth out while sneaking through a nightclub's restroom window
to avoid paying a $3.50 cover charge — and then won $12,000 from a jury. It
is also false.
Both stories have been attributed to the Stella Awards, an annual listing of
loony lawsuits. But the Stella Web site points out that they both are
complete fabrications. Yet they continue to appear in print and on the
Internet.
Other examples of fabricated "true cases of lawsuit abuse":
- Kathleen Robertson of Austin received $780,000 from a jury after she tripped over her own son in a furniture store.
- Carl Truman, a 19-year-old in Los Angeles, was awarded more than $74,000 when his hand was run over by a neighbor. The neighbor did not see Truman, who was in the process of stealing his hubcaps.
- Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pa., was given a $500,000 award after he was inadvertently trapped in the garage of a house that he was burglarizing.
- A Mr. Grazinski won more than $1,750,000 and a new Winnebago after he put his new motor home on cruise control at 70 mph and then went into the back to fix himself some coffee — only to crash on the highway.
MERELY LEGAL LEGENDS
These are the legal versions of the urban legends about alligators living in
the New York City sewers. Everyone knows that alligators brought back by
kids as pets from Florida have been flushed down the toilets, only to thrive
below the streets of New York City.
Legal legends fit the stereotype of litigation so well that their falsity
becomes secondary. Of course, law is not alone in such fabrications.
Consider my favorite story about Pia Zadora's dismal performance as the lead
in The Diary of Anne Frank . Zadora was so bad that, during the scene where
Nazis break into the house screaming, "Where is Anne Frank?" audience
members screamed, "She's in the attic!" It is a brilliant story, but I was
crushed to learn recently that it is also completely untrue: Zadora has
never played Anne Frank, and there is no such scene in the play.
I loved the Zadora story for the same reason people such as Zuckerman loved
the fabricated lawsuit stories: They capture a critical idea with an element
of humor or absurdity. There is, however, a great difference between using
urban legends to dish on some actress and using them to make massive changes
in the law. So, as we begin this latest debate over tort reform, one small
piece of advice: If you hear about a case that is almost too good to be
true, it probably isn't.
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JWR contributor Jonathan Turley is a law professor at George Washington University.
Click here to visit his website. Comment by clicking here.