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Jewish World Review Dec. 22, 2004 / 10 Teves 5765

Steve Young

Steve Young
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Consumer Reports Acquires Democratic Party At Bargain Basement Price. Backs Unconventional Choice For DNC Leadership | Dear MoveOnPlease member,

Who will be the next leader of the Democratic Party? Who really cares? MoveOnPlease spent big money this year buying the Party. It's ours and we can do with it what we want. And what we want to do is give it to YOU. When we say "YOU," of course, we're talking about the theoretical "YOU." MoveOnPlease will still own it, but we'll own it for YOU. YOU can look at us as benevolent landlords. And as good landlords we'll make all the decisions that are best for YOU, no matter how many times we're forced to raise the rent...for YOU.

This year, with the party leadership race wide open, we have the chance to elect a leader who will reconnect the Democratic Party with YOU...the US YOU...The MoveOnPlease YOU. It's our party now. We bought it, we own it, and now, we're going to take it back.

Number one on the YOU agenda is to select a new party chairman. This means first dumping Terry McAuliffe. The only thing he ever did well was turn a nickel and dime Global Crossing investment into a windfall retirement fund. As commendable as we feel that is, and wish we had found our way into that GC golf conversation, Terry's only other achievement was to turn the 2004 Jewish vote in Florida into a Buchanan landslide.

A new leader must be strong, able to connect with the common man, speak for the common man and walk the walk of the common man...but not necessarily be a common man.

Most of our naysayers believe we are just a blinders-on, just go for the dollars organization. We are, but we're more than that. To get people to send us hundreds of millions of dollars by supporting Howard Dean, we must know something. The opposition, YOUR opposition, thinks we'll make the obvious choice...Michael Moore, Al Franken, George Soros. All good choices, but this time we're going for the gusto. And that gusto calls for an out-of-the box choice. And that choice is-KARL ROVE.

If you cut through all the partisan minutia, Karl is the perfect man for the job. It's not like any of us know what it's like to be a winner. He was able to get someone who traded away Sammy Sosa from the Texas Rangers elected governor of the same freakin' state. He got the guy, who we all know was AWOL from the National Guard, elected president. For crissakes, we couldn't get veterans to vote for a candidate who volunteered for freakin' Viet Nam

We know that not everyone will be happy with the choice and in the democracy we all want that is permissible. Unfortunately for them, it's our football now and if they want to play, they can make any choice they want--as long as it's the same as ours.

The movement for change that we built during the last election is still gathering strength, though it is weak, plodding and pretty whiny strength. We need leadership that will break the chains of corporate funding and loser-thinking so we can fight -- really fight -- for a better, more profitable for 527 PACs America. The kind of America that doesn't think Fox News is an information panacea and that Michael Moore is fat -- YOUR America--that WE run.

Tell your state Party leaders that YOU want a DNC chair who knows how to win. Tell them YOU want KARL ROVE! It wouldn't hurt to also tell that "other," punk, PAC group at:

Thank you for all that YOU do--for US.

Eli, Justin, Josh, Jason, Britany, Cindy, Mindy, Christy Jason, Sarah, Tracy, Trish and the whole MoveOnPlease PAC team

December, 2004


JWR contributor Steve Young created for National Lampoon. Comment by clicking here.


© 2004, Steve Young