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Jewish World Review Sept. 7, 2004 / 21 Elul 5764

Steve Young

Steve Young
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Consumer Reports

It's all Hannity's fault: Stop The Talk Show Hunk and Kerry Can Win! | It's not George Bush. It's not Karl Rove. It's not even Zell Miller. There's only one reason John Kerry has fallen double-digit behind in the race for the White House.

It's that syndicated radio monster, Sean Hannity, and his three-hour-a-day (which is all he asks) attacks on the liberal Massachusetts Senator, calling him a liberal, among other things.

Hannity seems, now more than ever, to be climbing a mountain on some sort of emotional roller coaster where he feels the stakes have never been higher.

The gorgeous talker brings on his regular right-wing bomb throwers like Dick Morris, Newt Gingrich and Lanny Davis (who is not right-wing nor a bomb thrower, but still) to demean liberals for, well, being liberal.

Damn you, you exquisite-looking slab of conservative sex appeal. Damn you to hell.

Well, let your heart not be worried, will be making Hannity it's number one target, being there to shine the light of truth. Whenever a Democrat feeds Hannity red meat (not the Ruth Chris kind) sound bites that makes them seem maniacally fanatical and Hannity chooses to replay them, WE WILL BE THERE.

Whenever John Kerry sends out a mixed message and Hannity jokes about it on his show, WE WILL BE THERE.

Whenever there's positive economic news and Hannity chooses to report it, WE WILL BE THERE.

Whenever Hannity uses Whoopi Goldberg's female genital reference in condemning the president, a witty connection that probably no other comic or 7th grader ever thought of before, WE WILL BE THERE.

Whenever Hannity airs a Kennedy speech saying that Bush lied to bring us into war, WE WILL BE THERE.

Whenever Hannity replays African-American Baptist-like preaching from white, non-Baptist ex-U.S. vice presidents, WE WILL BE THERE. Whenever Hannity brings on Republican authors who afterwards find their books jumping to number one on the New York Times bestseller list, WE WILL BE THERE.

And, whenever Hannity brings on 527 supported guests who offer assertions against Senator Kerry while he refuses to bring on any of the 527 MoveOnPlease staff, WE WILL BE THERE.

Actually, because he hasn't invited us on his shoe, WE WON'T EXACTLY BE THERE, but WE WILL BE KIND OF THERE in spirit. Not the kind of spirit that will sell one damn book, but the kind of spirit that perhaps will get someone, anyone, to buy something or donate to us. And when they are ready to contribute, I say, surely, unequivocally, WE WILL BE THERE!


YES, I want to join and help thwart Sean Hannity's campaign to stop the American public from having the freedom to donate to MoveOnPlease so that we will have more money to solicit additional contributions.

Here is my tax-deductible gift of $_____________________.

Make your check out to Your gift of $10 or more entitles you to a year's subscription of solicitations for additional donations from


JWR contributor Steve Young created for National Lampoon. Comment by clicking here.


© 2004, Steve Young