Jewish World Review August 18, 2006/ 24 Menachem-Av, 5766

Greg Crosby

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FOUND! Unaired portions of Mike Wallace Interview with Iran's Ahmadinejad | By now most everyone has either seen or heard about the "60 Minutes" interview conducted by Mike Wallace of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. But just in case you were away on the planet Zorkan and missed the insightful, hard-hitting Q&A, here are some highlights from the actual transcript:

Q: President Ahmadinejad, I have some questions I wish to ask you — questions that many of us in the West have been burning to have answers on.

A: Shoot.

Q: How does it feel to be the boss of a whole country?

A: It's really cool. It is just really amazing to walk around and stuff and know that there is nobody who can tell me what to do or anything. Well, except for the imams — but they're cool.

Q: What's your favorite vegetable?

A: Mast o choghondar. That's yogurt with beets.

Q: I knew that.

A: Yeah, right.

Q: What's the first record you ever bought?

A: Duran Duran, "A View to a Kill."

Q: Who is your favorite Beatle?

Q: Ringo.

Q: Favorite Beatle album?

A: Hmmmm…. anything but the White Album. I guess Rubber Soul.

Q: Your favorite color?

A: Yellow.

Q: Favorite rapper?

A: Eminem.

Q: Favorite boy band?

A: New Edition

Q: Favorite terrorist group?

A: Hezbollah.

Q: Best music to make out to?

A: Fusion.

Q: Do you prefer dogs or cats?

A: Goats.

Q: Favorite U.S. president?

A: No.

Q: Do you kiss on the first date?

A: We don't go out on dates in Iran — we eat them.

Q: Greatest personal achievement?

A: Started my own blog.

Q: Is that true?

A: Yes. But I do not take credit for inventing the internet.

Q: Do you like blondes, brunettes or redheads?

A: In a burrka they're all alike.

Q: Anything you'd like to say to the American people?

A: Yes. War is not the answer.

Q: Anything else?

A: Yes. I am saddened to hear of all the American people who do not have affordable healthcare.

Q: Anything else?

A: Yes. I am saddened that so many African-Americans are put into prisons.

Q: Anything else?

A: Yes. Bush lied. Bush stole the election.

Q: Anything else?

A: I don't think so. Oh, yes — death to Israel, death to America, death to all other infidels.

Q: Thank you, Mr. President.

A: No problem, Jew scum.

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JWR contributor Greg Crosby, former creative head for Walt Disney publications, has written thousands of comics, hundreds of children's books, dozens of essays, and a letter to his congressman. A freelance writer in Southern California, you may contact him by clicking here.

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© 2005 Greg Crosby