How to Spot a Lefty

In our ridiculously complicated times, it behooves us to attempt to keep a modicum of sanity in our lives. (Yes, I used the word "behooves." When was the last time you saw that word in print? Maybe never, right? Most people have stopped using it, so I used it because I felt sorry for the word. I believe all words are created equal. You might say I am an egalitarian word user. That's why I used "modicum" also.) But getting back to the substance of my column.

To keep our sanity, we need to quickly and simply be able to tell the difference between normal people and Lefties. By Lefties I don't mean Sandy Kofax, Ty Cobb, or Babe Ruth. I have nothing against ballplayers who are lefthanded. I refer to people who are of the crackpot left politically. I've found that if you can, to coin another old expression, separate the wheat from the chaff, you can avoid those who aggravate you and therefore be a happier person.

So, in the interest of happiness for all of us normal people, I have gone to the trouble of compiling a list of "tells" that will help you recognize the idiots within our midst in an instant. Isn't this fun, boys and girls? Ready? Here we go!

It's a pretty safe bet that the person is a Leftist:

• If their face has more studs than a Kentucky horse breeding farm.

• If they drive a Prius.

• If their hair is the color of city street worker's reflective Day-Glo vests.

• If they begin every sentence with the word, "so."

• If they wear surgical masks when driving alone in their car.

• If they wear surgical masks when walking down the street.

• If they wear surgical masks when jogging or bicycling.

• If they wear surgical masks period.

• If they proselytize veganism.

• If they have liberal arts degrees from ivy league universities.

• If they can't define what a woman is.

• If they consider getting welfare money is the same as making a living.

• If they think one who holds an opinion which is opposite from theirs is "mean."

• If their preferred pronoun is gender neutral.

• If they hate all billionaires except for the ones who support their ideology.

• If they had a meltdown over the news that Musk bought Twitter.

• If they think the news media focuses in getting to the truth.

• If they believe Joe Biden has done great things for America.

• If they believe Kamala Harris is a great diplomat and doing a wonderful job.

• If they believe climate change and racism are our greatest threats.

• If they have installed solar panels in their homes believing it will save the earth.

• If they support the group Black Lives Matter and think they are helping blacks.

• If they can't tell you who served as vice president under President Trump, but they know who won the Academy Awards last year.

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• If they believe that the problem with the homeless will be solved if we build more homes.

• If they believe that the way to solve crime is to stop criminalizing criminals.

• If they believe that the way to improve society is to take money from those who earn it and give it to those who do not work.

• If they believe requiring an ID to vote is racist.

• If they believe that anyone who voted for Donald Trump must be inherently evil.

• If they want children to start deciding what gender they are in kindergarten.

• If they believe if you are a white male you are a racist and homophobic (unless you are a Leftist, then you are fine).

• If they find it easy to lie.

• If they possess a lack of logic and common sense.

• If they smell like cauliflower.

I am sure there are many more ways to spot a Leftist then what I've listed here but I can't go on with this thing all day. I'm getting tired and it's starting to make me nauseous. If you still can't identify a Leftist after all this, then simply tune into CNN and see for yourself. The place is lousy with them.

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