March is Women's History Month

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In case you haven't been celebrating, March is Women's History Month. HOO-RAY!

A whole special month for women's history! But I'm not sure exactly what we're supposed to do about it. Stage a parade? A parade with all women marching bands and flyovers with women pilots, and floats commemorating the famous women of the past, I guess. There's lots of famous women in history, beginning with Eve in the Garden of Eden and all the way up to Taylor Swift and Beyonce.

Let's see, what else can we do to celebrate? Spend the month reading books about historical women. And hysterical women. Watching the Hallmark Channel? We should honor the women who gave us the greatest art, music, literature, inventions, and discoveries on earth. That would be the MOTHERS of the greatest artists, musicians, writers, scientists, and explorers, most of whom were men. Without those mothers we wouldn't have those men, right?

Men's history has no month given to it. Is women's history more important than men's history? Yes it is. Just ask any trans woman.

Almost every month has a designated "marginalized" group identity attached to it. We just finished with Black History Month in February. April is Arab American Heritage Month. Ironically, not only is April Arab American Heritage Month, it is also Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Counterbalance I suppose.

Then May ushers in Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month. Don't know why they lumped the Asians and the Pacific Islanders together, but they did. They also stuck Jewish American Heritage Month in with the Asians and Pacific Islanders for May. Jews can celebrate by ordering out for Chinese all month.

By the way, why do some groups honor histories and some honor heritage? Why is it Black History Month and not Black Heritage Month? Why is it Arab Heritage Month and not Arab History Month? Another mystery of the marginalized.

June brings us the best one yet, LGBTQ+ Pride Month. This group doesn't get history or heritage, but it gets pride. If you happen to be a lesbian what is there to be proud of? When did we start taking pride in our sexual orientation? I'm heterosexual, should I be "proud" of that? Or can you only be proud of being a sexual deviate?

July is Disability Pride Month. And here we go again. Who is "proud" of having a disability? Who thinks, "I'm proud to be born without legs?" Does any blind person take pride in that disability? You might take pride in yourself for something that you've accomplished in spite of being blind. But taking pride in the mere fact that you are blind is more than silly, it's stupid.

September is Latinx Heritage Month. First of all, "Latinx" is a made up word. Use of masculine and feminine pronouns is the way to properly speak or write in Spanish. Latino and Latina are real words, Latinx is a fake word pushed by the members in the LGBTQ community and its advocates. But you must admit how appropriate it is to celebrate a fake heritage month by using a fake word.

Now we come to October and because having only one month in June to celebrate lesbians, homosexuals, queers, transexuals and all the other sexual deviates in our society is not enough, let's do it again in October. June is LGBTQ+ Pride Month. October is LGBTQ+ History Month. So far so good. Now all we need is another month for LGBTQ+ Heritage. August is open, let's do that in August.

Finally in November we have Native American Heritage Month. But don't use the month for trading in wampum, smoking peace pipes, or wearing feathered headdresses. That would be cultural appropriation, which is not allowed. Unless you're Elizabeth Warren.

I wish we could devote a month for traditional American History. Then another month to American Heritage. And yet another month to, yes, American Pride. We still have January, August, and December open; we could use those. All in favor, say "aye".

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