Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• Billboard's Hot 100 reports that once again Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas leads all songs in holiday sales. My neighborhood is a little more jaded. This year, the number-one Christmas song in Beverly Hills is Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer and Jacoby & Meyers Got Her $2 million.

• The Powerball website reported the Powerball lottery jackpot reached $1.6 billion before the Monday night drawing. I remember last year's Powerball Jackpot winner gave his homeless brother his own house for Christmas. It was the cardboard box that his brand-new 72” flat-screen TV came in.

• The Transportation Department says 8 million Americans are flying someplace for Christmas this week. That doesn't count the annual winter arrival of all the Canadians. Here in Los Angeles I am sick and tired of Canadians coming down to our country and taking jobs away from our Mexicans.

• President Trump was with RFK Thursday and announced he's reducing marijuana to a Class III drug to permit legal usage. Federal decriminalization should greatly reduced the U.S. murder rate. That's because if pot is legal, murder is pretty much restricted to whoever is in range of your couch.

• San Francisco police reported traffic chaos all over town Saturday night when the city power generator blew out causing Waymo robo-taxis to stop dead in the streets, in intersections and on bridges. They caused a horn-blowing and infuriating traffic snarl. Waymo is tech slang for Asian driver.

• Congress will soon take action on the bipartisan bill to ban Members of Congress from trading stocks while they're in office. It's an addiction some Members just can't break. I hear last week Nancy Pelosi purchased $20 million in Dunkin Donuts stock the day before President Trump legalized cannabis.

• Chuck Schumer urged the full release of un-redacted Epstein files after the first batch mainly showed photos of the pedophile clowning it up with Clintons and celebrities. One of the photos shows David Copperfield with Jeffrey Epstein. Then not to be outdone, Hillary Clinton made Epstein disappear.

• Bill Clinton was shown in Epstein files photos Friday swarmed by young women, whose faces were black-boxed out; The former president's denial was predictably theatric. Bill Clinton wagged his finger at reporters and he declared that he did NOT have sex with those underage, redacted polygons.

• The U.S. Navy tightened the economic noose around the neck of Venezuela's economy Monday, seizing a 3rd oil tanker. Trump announced Monday that he plans to build a big beautiful fleet of aircraft carriers, battleships and submarines to use in the War on Drugs. We will call them Coke Floats.

• The Pentagon destroyed a 25th suspected drug boat heading up the Pacific toward the U.S. from Colombia Saturday. The president has other options that would make him a lot more popular in Hollywood. He could legalize cocaine and the new Academy Award would be a golden statue of Trump.

• President Trump announced that the U.S. Navy will build a battleship for his new Golden Fleet, a ship he labeled Trump-Class. Wait a minute, Trump's supporters praise him for his ability to get things done, they never praise him for his class. For crying out loud, the guy pours ketchup on ice cream.

• President Trump ordered up a huge new fleet of powerful U.S. Navy battleships, carriers and subs, and said he will personally supervise their design. That can only mean each new submarine will include a big beautiful ballroom. Why should the Titanic be the only ship with a ballroom down there?

• The National Distilled Spirits Council cited a survey which said only 54% of U.S. adults now drink alcohol. This is the lowest percentage of U.S. drinkers since 1939. So 2025 isn't the first time the liquor industry is just waiting for Hitler to do something dramatic to get the sale of alcohol rolling again.

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