Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• Taylor Swift just paid out $197 million to the crew of her Eras Tour which spanned 21 months touring 21 countries, 149 concerts, ending in December of 2024. The $197 million was on top of their salaries. Just imagine how happy they are now that the presidential election was won by No Tax on Tips.

• Michigan's ex-coach Sherrone Moore barged into an ex-girlfriend's house and threatened to kill himself, resulting in his firing. He was charged this week with three felonies, including felony home invasion and stalking. If he's convicted Moore could get 10-20 years as coach of the Las Vegas Raiders.

• L.A. District Attorney Nathan Hochman announced that Nick Reiner will be charged with first-degree murder of his parents Rob Reiner and Michele. Nick will likely plead the insanity defense but he was clearly exhausted toward the end. He was doing the work of two men, Eric and Lyle Menendez.

• President Trump is considering reclassifying marijuana as a less dangerous drug making it virtually legal. Weed smoking would definitely reduce all the celebrity murders. Back in college when we were high, you wouldn't even stab a piece of chocolate cake, you'd eat it with your bare hands.

• The FBI arrested five anarchist-terrorists for plotting to plant a bomb in business buildings throughout Southern California that epitomized capitalism. They had planned the attack for New Year's Eve. The anarchists might have been able to pull it off if they could have decided who's in charge.

• President Trump signed an order Tuesday expanding the travel ban to the U.S. from five more countries due to terrorist activities and fraudulent documentation. And that's not all. Trump slapped added U.S. entry bans on 15 African countries, including the Congo, the Sudan, Somalia and Minnesota.

• Pete Hegseth said he'll only show missile strike videos of the drug speedboats to the Armed Services Committee. The way Congress is griping about the destruction of cocaine on the high seas makes me think they're insider trading on coca crop futures. They want advance notice of each strike so they'll know when to sell short.

• President Trump declared Venezuela a terrorist nation Tuesday and slapped a sanction on all Venezuelan oil. But the president set off alarm bells when he categorized fentanyl as a weapon of mass destruction. It's the Republican signal that always means we're about to invade the wrong country.

• President Trump agreed with his Chief of Staff he has an alcoholic personality and thanked G od he never drank. In defense of drinking, it gave me insight into the human condition before I had to get sober. I thank G od I drank, because as a result my jokes get much bigger laughs than Trump's jokes.

• The Washington Post published a detailed background profile on Minnesota Congresswoman and Somali-American spokesperman Ilhan Omar disproving her denials about marrying her sibling. She's a stunningly beautiful woman but I'd have no chance with Ilhan Omar. We have different parents.

• Australia's Liberal Party government is under fire for facilitating anti-Semitism and blaming the Bondi Beach Hanukkah shootings on guns. It's insane. The heroic man who was shot while wrestling the rifle away from the shooter was arrested in the hospital for possessing a rifle for 2 minutes.

• King Charles posted a video advising men that annual check-ups greatly improve your chances of catching prostate cancer. It makes me grateful that I descend from the House of Stuart and not the House of Windsor. Why in the hell would I want to improve my chances of catching prostate cancer?

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