Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• People published a special edition saluting the great Dick Van Dyke who celebrated his 100th birthday Saturday, honoring a lifetime of starring roles on Broadway, in movies and TV sitcoms. It so happens that Dick Van Dyke is his stage name. His agent made him change it from Penis Van Lesbian.

• The New York Times says Joe Biden can't raise any money for a presidential library. Instead they will add a library onto Biden Hall being built at the University of Delaware. The Biden School of Public Policy is a four-story structure and in Joe's honor the elevator doesn't go all the way to the top.

• The White House said President Trump will hit the road all year to convince 2026 voters he's bringing down the prices. He says Democrats are blaming him for Biden's inflation. Last week a Gallup Poll asked Americans if inflation was still affecting them and 125% said No while 195% said Yes.

• President Trump vowed swift revenge against ISIS Saturday after they attacked U.S. forces in Syria. Mideast terrorist groups are learning to play to Western sympathies. A terrorist just hijacked a plane full of politicians and is threatening to release one politician an hour until his demands are met.

• The Illinois legislature passed a law that bans federal agents from arresting illegal migrants within 500 feet of a courthouse. The language barrier is also a problem in court proceedings. Last week in San Francisco 2 guys showed up for their deportation hearing and the judge married them.

• Politico reports Congress may force another U.S. government shutdown in January due to the inability of the GOP and Democrats to agree on a health care plan. Whenever I think there's no hope for Congress, I try to remember that even the Titanic did some things right. The pool still has water in it.

• Ukraine President Zelensky spoke to reporters in London Monday and he balked at giving up any territory to the Russians. Both Putin and Zelensky's last meeting with President Trump had one thing in common. Both leaders walked away from the meeting $600 lighter and wearing a Trump Watch.

• Fox News applauded Australia for barring kids under 16 from social media. The craving for clicks is killing politics. The desire by politicians to be seen on YouTube every day has become an addiction so strong it makes cocaine look like something you can take or leave alone once you've tried it.

• The National Retail Federation says Americans will spend a record $1 trillion this year on holiday shopping. It can be a bit aggravating. In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is shopping today and she is sick and tired of hearing my act being played over and over on every store's speaker system.

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