Thanks for not saying these things

"Your call is very important to us."

"Proceed to the route."

"Some patients experience nausea, shortness of breath, rash, fever, sleeplessness, muscle aches."

"We have breaking news."

"So strange. My dog never carries on like that."

"At the end of the day, it is what it is."

"Listen closely as our menu options have changed."

"You can't win if you don't play."

"It's for your convenience."

"There's an atmospheric river heading toward the West Coast."

"License and registration."

"Do you want fries with that?"

"This program is being presented with limited commercial interruptions."

"Please stay on the line for a short survey."

"I love your outfit."

"Don't take Skyrizi if you are allergic to Skyrizi."

"In the event of a water landing, your seat cushion may be used as a flotation device."

"In tonight’s performance, the part of Daisy will be played by…"

"Are you a member of our rewards program?"

"Please enter your 16-digit code."

"Have you lost weight?"

"There’s literally no other quarterback who could make that throw."

"Let's agree to disagree."

–

Previously:
• 12/18/24: There's a word for that!
• 03/13/24: What's with all the BIG stuff?
• 02/13/24: Our obsession with 'true-crime'
• 02/13/24: Billy Joel's AI state of mind
• 08/27/21: Suzanne Somers was pure showbiz
• 08/27/21: Big memories of Little League
• 08/13/20: 73 years of smiles and insights
• 10/13/20: At a time when some rail about fake news, there's little room for faux documentaries
• 10/30/14: Thoughts About Whatchamacallit
• 04/29/14: Media Drones
• 03/11/14 Pay Attention to This
• 10/29/13 A Royal Scam
• 10/14/13 Siri Tells All
• 10/08/13 Rushing Print's Demise
• 08/08/13 Pervs in the Press
• 07/24/13 Monitoring Media
• 07/16/13 TV on Trial
• 07/03/13 With Trayvon, who has won? Not us or the U.S.
• 07/01/13 When history comes with ink stained fingers
• 06/25/13 An E-Z Fix
• 06/11/13 Mister, Mister
• 06/04/13 Branded

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Peter Funt is a writer and speaker. His book, "Cautiously Optimistic," is available at Amazon.com and CandidCamera.com.