Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• Good Housekeeping published a list for men of romantic Christmas Day gifts that are guaranteed to warm your partner's heart. Today the older, richer and more successful a man is, the younger a girlfriend he can afford. For instance Coach Bill Belichick is 72 and his girlfriend still believes in Santa.

• The Beverly Center reports shoppers are being nudged back to retail stores due to delivery fears over the Amazon strike. I went, and the mall music played the 1979 novelty song Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer. The song on the flip side of the record was Jacoby and Myers Got Her $2 million.

• The Beverly Hills Hotel hosts its Christmas Day buffet in the Polo Lounge today serving roast beef, turkey, chicken, sweet potatoes, carrots and cranberry sauce for $260. One thing is true everywhere. If you don't leave a buffet looking like you just got really bad news, you didn't get your money's worth.

• American Heritage reported that Christmas Day used to be the number-one day in America for couples to get married because Christmas Day was the only day off for the working class. It was reported Sunday that Jeff Bezos is getting married. His bride is expected to arrive this morning by 9 AM.

• CEO Jeff Bezos, owner of Amazon and space technology and exploration company Blue Origin, reminded the public Monday he'll be a player in space travel. Bezos announced he plans to send space travel customers into outer space by next year. And, if you sign up for Amazon Prime, by Tuesday.

• The National Archives released a 2013 photo of VP Biden, Hunter and President Xi in China. If Joe's senility has been just an act, everything finally makes sense. If China offered me $40 million to play dumb onstage I'd give the air a Methodist handshake every time I finished a set at the Comedy Store.

• President Biden exercised his presidential prerogative to commute the death sentence of 37 men currently on death row awaiting execution for federal crimes. It triggered resolve to enforce the death penalty in Southern states for state crimes. The Texas State Prison now plans to install electric bleachers.

• At his rally in Phoenix Sunday Donald Trump expressed interest once again in offering to buy Greenland from Denmark, whose Vikings first settled Greenland 1,000 years ago. Trump's critics say he just wants an all-white state. The Vikings didn't even have a black running back until 1967.

• Donald Trump called for the World Health Organization to be totally abolished, calling the WHO a globalist scam controlled by China. The WHO covered up the origin of Covid and put us in the hands of Big Pharma that maintains its grip to this day. I saw a guy today vaccinating himself behind the bus station.

• The House Ethics Committee released a damning report saying Matt Gaetz partied way too hard while a Member of Congress using cocaine, ecstasy, and paying for sex with a 17-year-old high school hooker. This affects his political future. If convicted, Matt could get 4-8 years in the White House.

• Psychology Today published an article Monday advising readers how to let go of past hurts and resentments by accepting what can't be changed by taking responsibility, focusing on the lessons learned and letting go. People who cannot let go of the past really annoy me. Bill collectors are the worst.

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