
• New Jersey Governor Phil Murphy demanded the U.S. government identify the mysterious aircraft that have been swooping over the Garden State at night for a month. It’s puzzling. If these drones are UFOs searching for intelligent life, you’d think they would have moved on from New Jersey by now.
• The FBI agreed to begin investigating into the appearance of so many mysterious drones darting in the night skies over New Jersey in recent weeks. Everyone has his own theory. Ten bucks they are space aliens in UFO’s who are here to contact New Jersey residents about their extended car warranties.
• President Biden held his fire Saturday as outrage grew from the increasing number of states and cities where unmarked drones have been hovering in the night skies over the U.S. Back in 2023 Biden shot down four Chinese spy balloons. One more and Joe gets his pick of any stuffed animal along the top row.
• The Pentagon tried to tamp down public fears that unidentified drones spotted over the Eastern Seaboard are spy missions by the Chinese military. Last week, Prince Andrew reportedly invited an alleged Chinese spy to Buckingham Palace. I’m guessing that Andrew was bribed with Sum Yung Ho.
• Donald Trump drew tremendous cheers at the Army-Navy game Saturday when he showed up to enjoy the game. CBS Sports only showed him on camera in the press box for four seconds. This is what happens when you only bring Elon Musk to the game and not Taylor Swift.
• Donald Trump won $15 million from ABC News for saying on the air he raped E. Jean Carroll in 1996 in a Bergdorf’s fitting room. In her lawsuit, she claimed rape, he says it never happened. My joke is, you either believe an old bleached-blonde with sagging boobs or you believe E. Jean Carroll.
• Sir Elton John was awarded Time’s Icon of the Year Award and Elton said that legalization of marijuana in the U.S. and Canada was the greatest mistake of our times. But some argue on behalf of pot’s medical benefits. New marijuana research reveals it cures symptoms of motivation by up to 95%.
• The New York Post quoted astrologers who said the year 2025 appears to be a once-in-a-century year in political and weather disasters worldwide. How could it possibly top 2024? Generally I don’t put much faith in horoscopes, but last summer Nancy Pelosi’s astrologer told her she’d have a great fall.
• Nancy Pelosi was hospitalized and underwent hip replacement surgery in Luxembourg after she was injured in a fall while in Europe to mark the 80th anniversary of the Battle of the Bulge. Nancy slipped and fell down a marble staircase. Joe Biden may have lost a step, but he still has his voodoo doll.
• A Pew Research Center survey on the dating scene in America found that people who are looking for a committed relationship and marriage say dating has become harder over the last ten years. Chin up. I’ve always felt that if two people are in love, nothing is impossible, except deciding where to eat.
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