You Can't Say He Wasn't Warned | Well, THAT certainly explains it

• Some people can get pretty territorial about their food. So it appeared in Colleton County, South Carolina, on Sept. 29, when Ryan Dean Langdale, 19, warned his 17-year-old cousin not to eat his salt and vinegar potato chips. "Do not touch my chips, or I'll shoot you," Langdale told his cousin, according to a sheriff's incident report. The Charleston Post and Courier reported Langdale then went into another room, retrieved a rifle and "the rifle went off," according to the sheriff's document.

Langdale summoned help but told police his cousin had accidentally shot himself while cleaning the rifle. Officers didn't think the story held up: The pathway of the bullet through the victim's chest was "impossible" if he had mistakenly shot himself, said sheriff's Maj. J.W. Chapman. Sure enough, when the victim was questioned after undergoing surgery, he told officers the savory snacks were at the center of the dispute. Langdale surrendered on Oct. 10 and was charged with, among other crimes, attempted murder. [Charleston Post and Courier, 10/10/2018]

• Yury Zhokhov, 41, a factory worker in Donetsk, Russia, was found kneeling in a field in early October with a knife handle sticking out of the top of his head. Zhokhov was conscious, and when questioned by police, he revealed he had stuck the 8-inch blade in himself. He was having trouble breathing through his nose, he explained, and hoped to make another hole he could breathe through. But the knife became stuck, and he couldn't remove it. Odditycentral.com reports doctors at the local hospital were afraid to touch the knife for fear of killing Zhokhov or causing brain damage. "It was horrific," a hospital spokesperson told local media. X-rays showed the blade "exactly between the two hemispheres of the brain." Specialists were called and Zhokhov survived the surgery without apparent brain damage, although surgeons are concerned about infection. [odditycentral.com, 10/9/2018]