February 26th, 2021


Least Competent Criminals | People Different From Us

News of the Weird by Chuck Shepherd

By News of the Weird by Chuck Shepherd

Published Dec. 11, 2015

Least Competent Criminals | People Different From Us

Jorge Vasconcelos, 25, was traffic-stopped in El Reno, Oklahoma, in October because he was reportedly weaving on the road, but deputies detected no impairment except possibly for a lack of sleep. Then, "out of nowhere," according to a KFOR-TV report, Vasconcelos, instead of quietly driving off, insisted that he was doing nothing wrong and that deputies could check his truck if they thought otherwise. They did -- and found an elaborately rigged metal box in the engine, containing 17 pounds of heroin, worth over $3 million. He was charged with aggravated trafficking.

It would be exhaustive to chronicle the many ways that the woman born Carolyn Clay, 82, of Chattooga County, Georgia, is different from us. For starters, she was once arrested for stripping nude to protest a quixotic issue before the city council in Rome, Georgia; for another, her driver's license identifies her as Ms. Serpentfoot Serpentfoot. In October, she filed to change that name -- to one with 69 words, 68 hyphens, an ellipsis and the infinity sign. One judge has already turned her down on the ground that she cannot recite the name (though she promised to shorten it on legal papers to "Nofoot Allfoot Serpentfoot"). [Times Free Press (Chattanooga, Tennessee.), 10-12-2015]

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