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December 14th, 2017

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Least Competent Criminals

News of the Weird by Chuck Shepherd

By News of the Weird by Chuck Shepherd

Published Dec. 7, 2015

Least Competent Criminals

Not Ready for Prime Time: It was at 7:30 a.m. on Oct. 8 that, according to Dallas police, Kristopher Jones, 18, and a buddy decided it would be Joy's Donut shop they should rob. As they exited the store (one carrying the shop's cash register), a uniformed, off-duty officer (who apparently had pulled up to the store -- for doughnuts) saw the whole thing and arrested Jones (though his partner was able to flee). [WFAA-TV (Dallas-Fort Worth), 10-8-2015]

I'm Da Man! John Morgan, 28, and Ashley Duboe, 24, were charged in September with robbing the Savings Bank in Ashville, Ohio -- with their apprehension made easier by Morgan's Facebook photos of himself riffling through (and with a mouthful of) his newly acquired stack of bills (a "McStack," he wrote) and describing his current elation: "I got six bands bra ... I'm doing rrree=aaaalll good." (Police were quick to find the Facebook page because Morgan was already on parole from a 2010 bank robbery.) [The Smoking Gun, 9-24-2015]

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