Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• The Francis Scott Key Bridge rebuild in Baltimore is reported running 150% over budget. The locals object to the bridge's name because the National Anthem composer owned slaves, so I say we compromise and re-name it after a black songwriter who owned slaves. We'll call it the P. Diddy Bridge.

• Fox News says a California start-up called Pivotalis is now selling a flying electrical car and has trained twenty people how to fly the vehicle. It's electric, it only runs for twenty minutes and you don't need a pilot's license to fly the thing. It's California's answer to Canada's assisted suicide law.

• The Senate sent the bill releasing the Epstein files to the White House Tuesday during Trump's dinner with the Saudi Crown Prince. The Prince doesn't at all understand the Jeffrey Epstein scandal that rocked Capitol Hill. Women in Saudi Arabia are considered cougars by the time they hit 17.

• Senator John Fetterman posted facial photos from his fall on the sidewalk last week. He suffered a concussion and cuts requiring dozens of stitches. He's a refreshing and original voice on cable news shows, but John needs at least another three concussions before he's as funny as Terry Bradshaw.

• Democratic lawmakers posted a video urging the U.S. military to disobey orders that they deem illegal. They want to halt missile strikes on the drug boats. Wall Street traders, comics and movie stars complain that cocaine is now $50 a gram more expensive than it was when Hunter Biden was president.

• The Daily Mail published files on Trump's 2024 shooter Thomas Crooks, which revealed he connected up online with the Nordic Resistance Movement. It's a Neo-Nazi group in Scandinavia. Progressives are having difficulty coming to grips with the possibility that Trump isn't Hitler enough for some people.

• The U.S. signed an Arctic Defense Pact with Canada and Finland to protect the Arctic Sea from China. Dozens of icebreakers will be deployed for patrols. For crowds up there, my icebreaker would be a joke asking if Polar Bears lost their annual Christmas Coca-Cola commercial because they're white.

• The History Channel reports in ancient Rome, female gladiators battled each other in the ring while topless. It may be the only time men were interested in women's sports. If WNBA owners ever have trouble meeting payroll, don't think a bailout marketing plan isn't right there in front of their faces.

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